“And how did they end?”
Zoey wrapped her arms around herself. “The day of her birthday, Oliver told her that it was over between them. He said that if she’d listened and stayed away from you, things may have worked out differently. He seemed very upset about her calling that ambulance for you, something I still don’t fully understand.”
“He didn’t want me to be taken out from under his supervision,” I explained. “We had private doctors on his payroll that travelled with us. Whenever something happened to me, he got them to help, because he knew they’d keep it quiet.” When she looked confused, I added, “It’s a long story. Let’s get back to Ivy.”
“All right. About two weeks after we got to LA, she called me between classes, ecstatic. Oliver had messaged her, just a simple text, but it was enough to give her hope. She was so happy he’d reached out, and immediately, she started making plans to see him in New York. I supported her, even though I always thought there was a high likelihood that he was toying with her. What could a thirty-year-old rock star possibly want with an eighteen-year-old who lived across the country from him? It didn’t make any sense to me. But when I tried to voice that suspicion, Ivy got very angry. She said I could never understand, because I’d never been that in love with anyone. I thought maybe she was right. Maybe I just didn’t get it. So I stopped trying to interfere, even as I hoped she’d meet someone here at UCLA and move on.”
She paused, casting her eyes to the ground. “Needless to say, that didn’t happen. Even after it became obvious that Oliver wouldn’t invite her to New York or come visit her here. She’d begged him to, but he always had an excuse. Still, he wouldn’t cut off contact. Every time I thought she was drifting away from him, a text would arrive. She’d read it to me, and she would be so thrilled about how romantic he sounded, but to me, it always seemed like this flowery drivel that no one in their right mind would believe. This went on for two years.
At one point, she started fooling around with this guy who goes to school with us, but she made it clear to me, and probably him too, that whatever there was between them was casual. Oliver still had some kind of hold on her heart, and I was tired of talking to her about him. It was so frustrating to keep trying to explain to her why their pseudo-relationship was fucked up, and why she needed to block him. The entire time, they didn’t see each other in person, but he still had a grip on her. Isn’t that insane? Honestly, I don’t know how he managed to do it. He must’ve laid the foundation for it all in the beginning.”
I bit on my bottom lip as I processed this new information. Yeah, I could believe it. Ivy told me she’d wanted to change herself by coming on that tour, so she must not have felt comfortable in her own skin. Oliver was a master at picking up on things like that. He’d identify what someone wanted and then present himself as the solution to their problems. After all, that’s how he got me.
“He made her feel special,” I muttered. “Maybe it was the first time she ever felt that way.”
“Yeah,” Zoey agreed. “I think you’re right. And I think she was afraid to learn any new information that would color her experience with him in a different light. It’s why she got so upset when you met her and told her you didn’t lie about Oliver.” She cast me a look. “I wasn’t willing to dismiss your words the way she was determined to. I had my own suspicions about Oliver, and I wanted her to consider the possibility that you were telling her the truth. I thought it would make it easier for her to let go.”
“Were you successful?”
“Initially, no. But then a few days later, she came home determined to get over Oliver once and for all. She said one of her professors said something that really resonated. It was about how love could be an unhealthy addiction, and I guess she finally understood that’s what she had with Oliver. So she came up with a plan. She was going to lose her virginity and then block his number.”
My entire body went rigid, but Zoey didn’t notice. “She went to that club with Mimi to find a guy to hook up with—so goddamn stupid. I bitched her out when she got home from your place that morning.”
I pulled at the neck of my shirt as a terrible suspicion started to build.
“You helping her the way you did made her start to see you in a new light. And then you had that lunch, and even though she wouldn’t admit it, I could tell she was starting to like you. So when she decided to lose it to you—”
“I didn’t know,” I croaked out.
Zoey looked confused. “What do you mean?” Her eyes widened. “Wait, what? You didn’t know she was a virgin that first time? How is that possible?”
“She never said anything,” I said, standing up from the sofa and pacing across the room. “What the fuck.”
“I know she didn’t want to tell you ahead of time, but I thought— Wasn’t there blood or something? Couldn’t you tell?”
“No!” I exclaimed. “There was nothing. I had no idea.” I covered my face in my palms and groaned.
I recalled us lying under the open sky in my backyard. Ivy did seem off for a few seconds, but I’d brushed it off as nerves. I was nervous, too. Why didn’t she tell me? Was I too rough, too fast? Would I have done it if I’d known?
The answer was immediate. Of course I fucking would’ve. But I would have talked to her more, been more careful—
“Hey, there’s nothing to beat yourself up about,” Zoey said. “So what if she didn’t want you to know? Clearly, everything went fine, because she wanted to see you again after that night.”
I dropped my hands and looked at Ivy’s friend. “She doesn’t trust me, is that it? I thought we were doing well, but she still doesn’t trust me.”
“I don’t think that’s it at all,” Zoey insisted, leading me to sit back down on the sofa. “Look, just talk to her. I’ve done enough talking on her behalf. I think you both need to lay all your cards on the table. She likes you a lot, Jamie. I know she does.”
My skin prickled with goosebumps at Zoey’s admission. Of course, she could have been wrong about Ivy’s feelings, but my stupid heart refused to calm down.
“It’s past twelve,” she said, standing up. “I’m going to go to bed, but I’m assuming you want to stay here until she wakes up.”
“Yeah.”
“Good luck, Jamie.” Zoey gave me a soft smile. “I hope it works out between you two.”
20
IVY
