“Let’s go talk to her,” I suggest.
“You go.” She leans away, fanning her eyes. “I don’t want her to see me like this.”
With a nod, I leave her, going back to Grandma’s bedroom, finding Mom sitting by her bedside. They both grin at me like I caught them in the middle of something.
Mom pats Grandma’s hands and stands, inviting me onto the chair in her place. “We’re going to the market. Do you want anything?”
Only time. And that can’t be bought. “No, I’m good.”
She kisses me on the cheek and leaves. I sit, taking Grandma’s hand.
“We were talking about you,” she says.I figured. I love her accent, the way you feel it in the back of your throat even when you’re not the one speaking it. “She says you have a girlfriend.”
“She’s lying. I have a best friend Iwishwas my girlfriend. Or more than that.”
“Do you love her?”
“A lot, yeah.”
“Tell me about her. Your mother said she is very pretty.”
“Here, I’ll show you.”
I take out my phone, picking out appropriate pictures before holding them in her view. Ones I took, ones I stole for my private collection. She’s half of the pictures I have from the last six months. My life changed the second I met her.
“Marry that girl,” she says, more a demand than a suggestion. “I want you to have someone to take care of you through your life. To care for you and make you happy.”
“Even if she doesn’t love me the same way?”
“She will.” She pats my hand as if I’m the one in need of comfort. “You were a very sad child. Quiet, never making trouble, always choosing to be alone. And now, a picture of a woman makes you smile so big.” A smile of her own spreads across her face. “I’m happy I can leave this world knowing my sad boy found someone who will never let him be sad again.”
A wave of emotion covers me. Tears build in my eyes at the unwanted reminder. I’ve never had to be without my grandmother. I’ve never had to think about making happy memories and not being able to tell her.
“I don’t want you to go,” I cry.
“I know.” She reaches over slowly, wiping my tears away. “I won’t ever leave you.”
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
~
The sun rises above the jagged stones that jut from the water like narrow mountains. It’s the first morning without my grandmother. My tears have dried because I feel her in the sun, warming my skinlike one of her hugs. It’s bittersweet. She’s here, even though she’s not. I miss her, though I know she will always be with me.
Time passes quickly, the dawn turning into day in what feels like minutes. It’s nighttime in California. Not the perfect time to call my personal sunshine, but I need her right now.
I video call Bri, hoping it’s a time she can pick up. When her face appears, I get emotional.
“Hey, babe. How are you? How is Grandma?” Notmygrandma. Hers too.
“She passed late last night in her sleep.”
Her smile fades away. “I’m so sorry, babe.”
“It’s okay. She was happy all the way to the end. And you were right. I’m thankful I got to have that time with her.”
“I’m glad you did too.”
