I’m at peace, in a way, but my peace still makes me cry. She sits with me quietly, letting the well of emotions wash over me. When I can dry my tears and speak again, the words fly out of my mouth. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“No, I mean . . . I’m in love with you.”
“Yeah, I know.” She gives me a tearful smile. “Can I tell you something?” she asks. Before I can answer, she flinches when someone yells from behind her. “One sec,” she tells them.
The next bout of yelling shows they don’t have a second to give her. I feel my light dimming already.
“Babe, I’m sorry, I have to get back to work.”
“It’s okay. Thanks for talking to me.”
“Always. I’ll call you when I’m off, okay?” I nod. “Be patient with yourself. You are very loved. Especially by me.”
“Thank you. Talk to you soon.”
The call ends, and it couldn’t be clearer. I can’t wait anymore. There’s no point. I’m set to fly back home, and my home is Bri.
Going to her will be another grand gesture. The scars of the last time I flew across the country to be with someone pop into my head and almost change my mind. But though she doesn’t say it, I believe Bri has been trying to be with me as much as I have with her. We want this, and we could have this, if the world would stop getting in the way. So here I am, ready to move mountains and oceans to be with her.
~
Three hours later, the airport isn’t too busy, and the security line is much easier than it is in the States, leaving me plenty of time to sit and practice the speech I will give Bri when I arrive, uninvited, on her doorstep.Should I give her a speech? Speeches are for self-sabotaging clingers, aren’t they? No speech.This is a bad idea.
Mom and May were behind me all the way, pushing me to fly back immediately to go see her. Funny that the first time I was in this situation, they had no idea it was happening until after it blew up in my face. I wonder if they would have supported this decision before.
Finally, my phone rings with Bri’s call. Her face appears, calming me and making my heart race at the same time.
“I’m sorry I had to get off the phone so quickly before,” she says. “How are you holding up?”
“I’m doing okay. Sad, but okay.”
“I wish I could hug you right now. I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too. More than you know.” I swallow back my fear, waiting for her to catch on to what is in view behind me. “So, um—”
“Last call for boarding, flight 8802 for Taiwan.” The announcement saves me from my explanation.
“Was that a—Are you in an airport?”
“I am.”
“You’re going back already? You should take some time.”
A deep breath straightens my posture. She could reject me, flat in my digital face. At least that would save me a trip. “I’m coming home. To you.”
“What do you mean? You’re going home, and then to me?”
“ ‘Home’ and ‘you’ are the same place, Bri.”
The look of stupor on her face tells me to continue.
“I was telling my grandma about you, and she said she had never seen me look so happy,” I say. “I love the person I’ve become since I’ve known you, but it was never about how you make me feel. It’s justyou. I love the way you speak through touch as much as words, the way you smell like marshmallows, the way sunlight radiates from your soul without you even noticing. I come to life when you are around. Because you are everything to me.”
“Liem, I—”
“Wait. Listen.” I can’t let her stop me from saying the most important part. “One of the last things Grandma said to me was, ‘Marry that girl.’ ” Bri looks lost for words. Lucky for her, I have plenty. “If I stop focusing on getting everything right or meeting expectations and think about what makes me happy, all I see is you. Your sunshine, your drive, you sitting next to me, talking shit when we’re as old as my grandma. And I know you see it too.”
