“I haven’t been weird.” I turn away to run a brush through my hair. It snags on a knot, making my eyes water.
“You’ve been avoiding us, sneaking out. You haven’t wanted to do magic, not really.” She hops off the bed and swipes the phone from my hand. “What the hell is going on with you? And don’t say it’s your dad because I went over the other day, and you weren’t there. I knocked, and no one was home, even though that’s where you told me you were going. Before the party, it had been weeks since we hung out. Even before that, you were sneaking out. Backpack by the door at all times, furtiveglances at the window, leaving us in your room when you thought we were all asleep?”
I think abouthimand how he has encouraged me to keep things secret. But what if… What if I just told Elena about him right now? There is a little voice inside me. It asks if I’ve been spending too much time with him. Asks if I am drifting from my friends because of him. But it’s only a small voice, and it’s easily quieted. Because he is right. If we involve them, I’ll have to explain that he knows about the magic. That I’ve been trying to do magic by myself. I’ll have to explain that I didn’t trust them the way I’ve trusted him. He supports me, believes in me. In fact, he thinks that, together, we can do far more than just help my friends. Together, he says, the two of us can show the world what healing really looks like.
“Fine, yes,” I say. “Sophie and I are together.”
Elena looks even more shocked than when she saw the pictures.
“It’s not public knowledge, so please don’t say anything to anyone. Including Joey. And don’t tell Sophie I told you. We’re supposed to keep it a secret.”
Elena’s hand drops to her side. “Wow. Is it just hooking up or are you together, together?”
I close my eyes for a second and decide which response would hurt Sophie less. “We’re together.”
“Damn, okay.” She nods. “It’s cool, obviously. I’m glad you’re both happy, but I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Elena’s words make my stomach pinch. What I’ve just done saves my skin. But this lie will crush Sophie. I formulate my plan then and there, as if doing so will exonerate me. Maybe it will. Tonight, I’m going to pay Tanner McGrath a visit.
37Sophie
Sophie tucks her hands into the pocket of her sweatshirt and wants more than anything to cinch the hood tight around her face.
Elena just said that Quinn was in love with her.
It makes no sense. They were friends. They were always just friends.
“How do you know?” she asks. She can hear the desperation in her voice, and she hates it.
“She told me.” Elena’s face says,“Don’t even try to deny it,”but Sophie doesn’t know what, exactly, to deny. The bar around them is growing noisier every minute. This already feels like the longest day ever. She thinks about River, about the journal, about her dad and Barbara, about Leah’s fever. Her thoughts flutter around like a bird trapped in the rafters.
Elena interrupts. “You don’t have to lie, Soph. I saw the pictures.”
This makes the frantic bird stop dead. “What pictures?”
Elena juts her head forward in a show of disbelief. “The naked pictures. Of you.”
Joey inhales sharply. “Wait, Quinn had naked pictures of you?” She looks hurt, as if this is something that was done to her.
Sophie feels the world blur around the edges of her vision. She triesto respond, but Elena cuts her off. “Just admit that you were in love with her too and save us all some time.” She picks at tiny balls of wet napkin that have accumulated on the table.
Joey brings a hand to her chin, like she needs the extra support.
“I wasn’t in love with her.” Intensifying heat inside Sophie’s clouds any rational thought. She pushes her cocktail away.
“Well, I found pictures of you with your tits out on her phone.”
“Those weren’t—”
“What the hell, Soph?” It’s Joey now, coming at her with an aggrieved tone. “You didn’t think this was pertinent information to share with us? This whole time we’ve been thinking Quinn and River… But it was you all along.”
“It’s not—”
“Honestly, there’s no use lying,” interrupts Elena. “Quinn told me everything.”
Sophie tries to speak, but Elena cuts her off again. “It’s not a big deal. It was a lifetime ago.”
Not a big deal?Sophie knows what pictures Elena is talking about, and the thought of them being witnessed by someone else makes her feel violently sick.Quinn showed Elena?Why would she do that? Sophie has shut out that night with Tanner for so long. It feels impossible that it’s being thrown in her face again after a decade and a half. By people she thought she could trust. Starting with Quinn, who told her she got Tanner’s phone and deleted the photos that day. But instead, what? She kept them on her own phone and showed them to Elena, making up some story about the two of them hooking up? Betrayal tears through her. Not only did Quinn lie to Sophie, but she also used Sophie’s sexuality as a cover story. Or maybe the whole thing was just a sick, twisted joke, and Quinn just never got around to telling Sophie the punchline. She tries to bring Quinn’s face to mind so she can ask her,“What the fuck?”but she can’t. For once, she can’t.
