“Hm,” says Sophie. “Did you have help? I mean, is his dad still in the picture or…”
Elena buries her face in her drink again. “His dad was no one special. And no, not in the picture.”
“But you must have been so young when you had him. How did you make it work? Did your mom help?” Sophie remembers Elena’s mom.Her dad died when she was six years old, and after that, eventually, her mother transformed into a closed-minded, sometimes violent religious zealot. But bless her, Elena still snuck out, smoked, drank, and fooled around with half the school. And when she got caught, she took the punishment and then was back at it again the next night.
“Are you kidding?” Elena laughs. “That bitch did nothing. I relied on neighbors and friends. I even dragged him along to work with me a bunch in the early days. And somehow, he turned out okay. No idea how that happened. But what about you? You’re a mom now. How’s that going?”
“Great,” says Sophie, and warmth fills her when she thinks of her family. “Leah is eighteen months. To be honest, the postpartum really knocked me out for a while. Talia was worried, but I upped my therapy sessions to twice weekly, and it helped a little. You know, during that time of my life, I used to imagine seeing you or Joey…or even Quinn sometimes, when I was out running errands. It used to make me so sad. I was not well. I thought being back here would be triggering, but it’s honestly not that bad.” She wants to say something about the journal she found in the closet, but the thought of speaking about it out loud it makes her nervous. Elena looks winded by Sophie’s complete mental health history anyway, so she decides to bring it up at a better moment.
The bell above the door jingles.
A woman Sophie recognizes appears in the doorway with her hands on her lower back. Marissa Berg wears a navy blue uniform and a gun at her hip and—unexpectedly—a pregnant belly that protrudes over her pants. It’s jarring to see Marissa again. She was always trying to include herself when they were young. Of course they couldn’t include her in the magic, since she wasn’t initiated, but Sophie sometimes said yes when Marissa invited herself to hang out with them after school. Elena, Joey, and Quinn didn’t get it. They said she was a hanger-on. Elenacalled her a self-important bitch. But Sophie felt bad that the four of them were, by default, exclusive. She didn’t like the idea of someone clawing at the outside trying to get in. More importantly, though, she was highly allergic to the wordno. Still is.
“Marissa, hi. How are you?” Sophie says as Marissa spots them. Her eyelids peel open in shock as she strides over.
“Sophie Stringer and Elena Alvarez, both of you? My gosh, what on earth are you doing here?” Marissa’s greeting comes across as a bit saccharine. She leans into Sophie for a one-armed hug.
“Marissa, wow. You look great,” Elena says, completely monotone.
Marissa beams and runs her hands over her baby bump. “Six months next Tuesday,” she says.
“Do you still live here?” asks Sophie, eyeing the uniform.
Marissa laughs. “Are you kidding? I could never leave. We’re down at Sixth and Pine. But what on earth areyoudoing here?” Marissa looks between them, waiting.
“We’re just visiting,” Sophie says.
At this, she clocks a prolonged look from Marissa that she can’t quite read. “I thought maybe it was because of Quinn. Maybe Joey finally got a break in her case.” She says this with a not-so-subtle mocking tone, as if Joey is going around town calling herself Carmen Sandiego.
Sophie bristles inwardly.
Elena says, “Nope,” with emphasis. Sophie’s surprised to hear her speaking up for Joey.
“It’s the fifteen-year anniversary of her death, isn’t it?” Marissa picks an invisible fuzz off her shirt.
“Monday was.”
Marissa nods. “Right… So is that why you’re in town?”
Sophie makes a noncommittal noise. She wonders why Marissa’s presence makes her so uncomfortable.
Joey walks over then, looking tired and bunching up a filthy blackapron. “Done for the day,” she says. “Zach’s not happy, but I promised him overtime pay I can’t afford.” She looks around with the air of clearing her mind. “You guys ready?”
She’s speaking to Elena and Sophie; that’s perfectly obvious, but Marissa doesn’t seem to read the room. She checks her watch. “I have to be back in…half an hour,” she says. “That’s enough time for a quick cup of something.”
Joey squints at her and gives her the approximation of a smile. There’s a moment of quiet, and Sophie feels things start to tip. She has an old familiar feeling that, in just a moment, when it becomes unbearable, she won’t be able to let the silence grow any longer. She will have to jump in and invite Marissa to hang out. She can almost hear herself saying it.“Sure, let’s all get a fresh coffee and catch up.”
Before she can, thankfully, Joey jumps in. “Wish we could, but we are on our way out for a hike.”
Marissa is skeptical. “Are you?”
“Are we?” asks Sophie. Elena looks up in surprise.
“We are.” Joey says it with certainty as she faces down Marissa. “Next time?”
“Shoot,” says Marissa, running her hand over her belly again, as if the act might somehow change Joey’s mind. When she gets no response, she says, “Well, I do want to catch up with you all at some point. Call me if you end up doing brunch or something. Joey, you have my number.” And she leaves them to approach the counter and order a to-go skinny latte—“Make it a decaf!”
She’s all smiles, and yet as she makes her way to the door, she turns toward Sophie. Her eyes linger for a few seconds, her expression unreadable, until Sophie feels a flush of embarrassment rise in her. And then the moment is gone, and so is Marissa, and Sophie is left with the bizarre feeling that she’s been caught out for something, though she has no idea for what.
