At the mention of my ex, Graeme makes a sound of disgust in the back of his throat that makes me stifle a laugh.“For what it’s worth, your level of experience doesn’t matter to me.”
“It’s just that I’m not very...adventurous.With Tripp, I was always in my head, unable to get over my nerves or completely let my guard down.He called me ‘vanilla’ once when he wanted to try something new, and I told him I wasn’t comfortable enough for that yet.”
Another guttural sound from Graeme, this time paired with a clenching in his jaw.“What a bawbag,” he mutters.
“Definitely a bawbag.And a numpty.”
Graeme’s lips twitch.“We never have to do anything you don’t want to do or you’re not ready for.We already know each other well on so many levels, and we can take our time getting to know each other on a physical level too.”
I nod, moving my hands around to his chest and flattening my palms against his pecs.“As much as I appreciate that...what if I don’t want to go slow?”
It seems to take a second for my words to register.When they do, his eyebrows lift slowly, and his jaw works again.With his eyes on mine, he leans in as if to kiss me, then veers to the side to bring his mouth close to my ear.“As much as I like the idea of carting you off to my room and us having our way with each other, I want to take my time.”He nips at my earlobe, eliciting a surprised gasp from me.“Do you have any idea how long I’ve wanted this?Wantedyou?”
His low, rough voice directly in my ear sends a shockwave of lust through me.The aftershocks ripple across my skin as Graeme captures my mouth with his in a long, slow kiss.
“Can we go to your bedroom?”I ask breathlessly.
I have a second to see the gleam in his eyes before he grips the backs of my thighs and lifts me.I wrap myself around him like I did earlier in the loch, peppering his cheeks and lips with kisses as he carries me through the flat.I expect him to set me down when we reach his room, but he closes the door and pushes me against it.
A gasp escapes me when Graeme’s body presses even closer to mine.The hard bulge in his jeans lines up with my centre, and I don’t fight the urge to rock against him.His grip tightens on my ass, and he grinds me against him until I let out a needy little whimper.
He breaks away suddenly.“Wait.”He sets me down, groaning when my body slides over his rigid length.He’s breathing heavily as he braces his forearm on the door and leans over me.“Not like this.”
My dizzy, lust-addled brain has me blurting, “Why not?”
His low chuckle in my ear makes me bite my lip to hold back another whimper.He pushes away from the door so he can meet my eyes.“Because, sweetheart, I’ve waited years for this, and I’m not going to come before I even get inside you.”
My whole body flushes.I feel as if I’m going to spontaneously combust.I duck under Graeme’s arm and move further into the room, needing to put a bit of space between us as I catch my breath.The floorboards creak under Graeme’s weight as he turns, but he doesn’t come closer.
Early evening light pours into the room from the two windows.Something in me shrinks at the idea of getting naked in front of Graeme for the first time with what feels like a spotlight shining on us.
“Can we close the blinds?”I ask.
Graeme does as I ask, then stops in front of me, hovering his hands over my shoulders as if he’s afraid to touch me.I inch closer to him, and his warm hands land on my shoulders, massaging the tight muscles.
“We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for,” he says.
“I’m ready,” I say quickly.He chuckles under his breath, and I laugh along with him, which eases some of the tension.“I’m ready,” I repeat.“I want this.I wantyou.”
“And I wantyou.I just want to make sure you feel comfortable and safe.If at any point there’s something you don’t like or want, just say the word and we’ll course-correct or stop entirely.”When all I can do is nod, he runs the tips of his fingers along my forehead.“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
If I’m ever going to get naked in front of this man, I need to stop being embarrassed.My last foster mom, the one I hoped would adopt me, had a few ‘sex talks’ with me, and I still remember her telling me that if you can’t talk about sex with someone, you shouldn’t behavingsex with them.Graeme and I have the type of relationship where I can tell him anything, so why should this be any different?
“I’ve always liked how you’re a take-charge sort of person,” I say, twisting my fingers in the front of his shirt.“Drew said once that you’re not bossy but you’re aboss, and that stuck with me.You can be the sweetest, softest guy, but you can also take charge and get things done.It’s incredibly sexy.”
One side of his mouth curves upward as he taps the side of his head.“Filing that information away: Abby has a competence kink.”
I shove his shoulder, which doesn’t make him budge an inch.Eventhatturns me on.I love how solid and strong he is.“Only as it pertains to you.”
His eyebrows lift slowly.“Ahh, even better.So you want me to take charge, is that what you’re saying?”
“Yeah.Not boss me around or anything, but...guide me?Talk to me and keep me from getting caught up in my head.”
“I can do that.”He presses his lips to my forehead, letting them linger before moving to my temple and down my cheek.When his mouth reaches mine, I meet it eagerly, eyes slipping closed as his tongue glides over mine.
His hands move up my neck and into my hair, where he removes the clip holding my loose up-do.He eases back to look at me as the tresses fall around my shoulders.“I’ve always loved your hair,” he says, twirling a lock of it between his fingers.“The way it looks, the way it smells.”He lifts it to his nose and inhales deeply, his eyes falling shut for a second.When they open again, they move down to where my arms hang limply at my sides.“You can touch me, sweetheart.”
I offer him a wry look as I plant my palms on his chest.My limbs feel as if they belong to someone else.I relax slightly when Graeme’s hands dive into my hair and massage the base of my skull.The soothing motion is followed by a wave of lust when his fingers tangle in my hair and give a light tug.It seems to loosen something within me, and my hands begin their own exploration, sliding down his chest and under his shirt.
