“Thanks, Spicy.These are mine now, you know that, right?”And with a wicked grin, he tucks them into his pocket.
* * *
When we return to MacKinlayTower, Graeme’s friend Rab calls to ask him for help with something, and I stay behind to shower.Afterward, I putter around the apartment, imagining how it’ll look when it’s fully furnished and decorated.
Graeme told me he plans to paint while the place is mostly empty.I scan the walls, wondering what colours he’ll choose, what kind of artwork, how many framed photos he’ll have.I wish I could be here to help with the decisions and see it all come together.I imagine him texting me paint samples and various decorative items he finds while he’s out and about, but it’s not the same.
I hear the distant sound of the front door unlocking.Graeme appears in the living room doorway a moment later.I love the way his face lights up when he sees me, even though we spent the entire day together and have only been apart for an hour.He crosses the room and offers me a bouquet of daffodils tied with a bright red ribbon.
“Graeme.They’re beautiful.”
“Not as beautiful as you, sweetheart.”He leans in for a kiss, but pauses and chuckles when he sees I can’t get my grin under control.“Och, that was cheesy, wasn’t it?So I probably shouldn’t say something about how you’ve brightened my life more than all the daffodils in Scotland?”
Heisright, but not because the sentiment is cheesy.Saying things like that makes me fall more deeply in love with him, andthat’sthe part that scares me.Still, an airy, bubbly feeling courses through me, making me feel light enough to float away.I grip Graeme’s shoulder with my free hand, anchoring myself to him and to this moment.
He takes the flowers from me and sets them aside before resting his hands on my hips.If he notices I didn’t answer his question, he doesn’t say anything.Instead, he kisses my cheek and then trails his lips along my jaw.He lingers at the spot he recently discovered I like, the warm puff of air against my skin telling me he’s amused when I tighten my hold on his shoulders.By the time his lips move to my neck, I’m sure he can feel my racing pulse.
“Why haven’t we had sex yet?”I blurt.
Graeme huffs out a surprised laugh and straightens to look at me.I attempt to back away, but he tightens his grip on my hips, holding me in place.“You’re going to ask that and then run?”
“I didn’t exactly have a plan, but that sounds about right.If you could just let me go, that’d be great.”My cheeks are flaming.I can’t meet his eyes, even though I can feel his searching gaze on my face.
“And where would you go?”he asks.
“Maybe up to the castle, where I can hide in one of the dungeons and never show my face again.Or to the vaults under South Bridge?”
“Abigail.”His voice is laced with gentle humour.I don’t have to see his face to picture his sweet, soft smile.I can also imagine the curiosity in those beautiful eyes of his.
“Wow, full name,” I murmur, peeking up at him through my lashes.I was right about his expression, although I left out one important thing:love.It’s painted across every inch of his face, and it nearly sucks the air from my lungs.
“Abigail Dawn Morton.”His tone is firmer now, and something about it makes me want to squirm in a way that has nothing to do with embarrassment.
“What, Graeme Alistair James MacKinlay?”
One side of his mouth tilts up.“We haven’t had sex yet because I haven’t wanted to rush you into something you might not be ready for.”
When I tilt my head back to look at him, I’m reminded of what he said earlier about me being a sunflower gravitating toward the sun.Except now, everything in me is pulled toward Graeme.
“We’ve been friends for so long, and then in the blink of an eye we were...more,” he says.“We know now those feelings have always been there on some level for both of us, but it’s still so new.Between that and an expiration date of sorts, I thought maybe we wouldn’t orshouldn’ttake things further.That it would be smarter to have one final line we didn’t cross.”
“I think we passed ‘smart’ a while ago,” I say.
He hums in agreement.“Left it on the other side of the Atlantic, it seems.”He brushes away a lock of hair that fell from my clip when I attempted to hide my face.“So if we’re just a pair of idiots who love each other and want each other, where does that leave us?”
My heart leaps when he says ‘love’.It’s not the first time he’s said it—not even the first timetoday—and it’s not an outright ‘I love you’, but we seem to be getting closer to that.
“Do you remember when we were talking about me staying in Scotland and you asked me to let you l-love me until it was time to say goodbye?”My cheeks heat, both at the way I stumble over the word and at what I plan to say next.I’ve never been good at talking about sex, even with Drew.
“I remember.”He ducks his head to maintain eye contact with me.When I open my mouth and no words come, he saves me from myself.“And sex is part of that?”
“I think so?Iwantit to be.I was just worried maybe you didn’t want me in that way.”
He releases a heavy breath.“OfcourseI want you in that way, sweetheart.I wantallof you.And if I haven’t made that clear, that’s a failure on my part.”
“It’s not,” I say quickly.My thoughts stray to the way Graeme kisses me and touches me—sometimes reverently and other times with a hunger I’ve never experienced before.When things get hot and heavy between us and I can feel him growing hard against me, he clutches at my hips or ass, fingers digging in with bruising force as if it takes all his effort not to touch me elsewhere.
“I let my insecurities take over,” I say.“I convinced myself my lack of experience would be a turn-off, even though Iknowit won’t matter to you.Iknowyou’re aware Tripp was the only guy I’ve been with.”
