“I think it’s time we start looking for other fallen angels.”
Zeke groans. “There are none. I’ve looked.”
His total disregard for my suggestion does nothing but reenergize my ire.
“Maybe they’re better at hiding than you are.”
He turns on me, red-faced and completely unlike Zeke. “Why am I never good enough for you, Tori?”
“W-what?” I ask, slinking backward, trying to put as much distance as possible between us. Zeke’s reaction to a simple statement is so unlike him. The day has gone downhill ever since the mention of Leeanna’s name, and I have to question why. Why does the mention of her elicit such an intense negative reaction, still?
“I never said that,” I say, voice rising to meet his.
“You might as well. You insinuate it all the fucking time.” He takes two giant steps toward me, and I step backward in response.
My hands come up to forestall his advance. “Please stop. You’re scaring me.”
His glare retreats, regret left in its place. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean?—”
“Is this all because I mentioned Leeanna?” The question is asked before I can consider whether I really want the confirmation. I already know, but hearing him say it will sting even more.
He grimaces, and that confirms it. “Don’t bother,” I say, turning my back and bending to retrieve my shirt. I pull it over my head, shielding my nakedness from Zeke, needing the armor.
“Tori, please. I’m struggling.”
My hands come to my hips. “You’re struggling? From what, Zeke?
“Everything,” he grates. “Your reason for falling. Our run-in with the arcs.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. Now you want to bring up my reason for falling? How about you just admit the damn truth?” I spit the words. “Let’s not sugarcoat what really has you all bent. This is all about your feelings for Lee.”
His face falls, and a small portion of my anger disintegrates at the look of utter self-loathing in his eyes. “My feelings for you are…” He runs his hands roughly through his hair, which I’m coming to find is a habit of his. “It’s intense. I don’t know how to handle it. It’s more than what I ever felt for her.”
“Don’t,” I say, shaking my head and grinding my teeth. “Don’t pretend this is about you and me.”
His shoulders slacken and tears—freakingtears—well in his eyes. I don’t know how to handle this side of Zeke. I’ve only ever known the strong hunter. The relentless pursuer. The intense lover. This side of him is something entirely foreign.
“It’s everything, Tori. Since I fell, there were only two emotions plaguing me. Lust and anger. Since you came into the picture, it’s so much more. It’s suffocating me.”
“More? What more is there?”
“Love, Tori. I fucking love you.”
I stagger back at his admission. Our physical arrangement just began. Love? That’s out of the damn question.
The lust and anger I get, but love? No matter how many years we’ve spent on Earth, the range of emotion that’s been foreign to us for centuries is hard to control at times. When you’ve gone lifetimes not feeling a thing, being on Earth can be overwhelming and all-consuming. Especially when you feel everything so acutely.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Zeke lectures. “You don’t get to pretend that you don’t feel something more for me. You practically took my head off for being away for two damn days, Tori. You obviously care.”
I do. I care a lot. There’s no questioning that. It’s the love part that has me speechless. I’ve only felt a strong pull to someone one other time, and it was all a farce. It’s hard for me not to question my own feelings when they’ve failed me so epically in the past.
“Whatever this is,” I say, gesturing between the two of us, “it’s something. But love? I’m not even sure I know what that feels like.”
He takes a giant step toward me, grabbing my hands in his. “I’m not asking for you to love me back. Not yet. I only want you to be open to it.”
My heart swells at the sincerity and hopefulness I see in Zeke. It gives me faith that my days on Earth can be so much more than I ever dreamed. I can build a life here. One to be proud of, despite what Heaven thinks. Maybe those thoughts are Earth making me foolish, but I’m not going to question it. Almada said I have a new path, and damn it, I’m going to be the one to forge it. At least the parts I can.
“One day, I might be open to it.” I say, drawing the widest smile from Zeke.
