I roll toward Zeke, whose breathing has slowed. The light from the moon illuminates one half of his face, and I can’t help but inhale sharply at just how perfect he is. Humans carve stone images in the likeness of men far inferior to this angel. And here I am, curled up next to him. I’ve been such a fool, treating him like a nuisance.
“You’re awake.” Zeke’s groggy voice filters through the room.
“I am.”
He stretches, yawning all the while.
“I’m sorry if I woke you. Go back to sleep.” My hand reaches out, moving a stray piece of dark hair out of his eyes.
“You can’t sleep?” he asks, eyes fluttering.
I shake my head.
Zeke’s hand cups my cheek and I lean into it. “What happened today, Tori?”
I sigh, not sure that I want to get into it, but knowing it’s a conversation we’re going to have sooner or later. Might as well rip off the Band-Aid.
“She said that God made other plans for me when I fell. Heaven’s gates are slammed shut to me.” My shoulders lift. “That’s basically it.”
“You’ve always believed there’s a way. Why now? Why believe a stranger?”
That’s the question I don’t have an answer to. For whatever reason, I felt the finality in her words. My soul felt the truth in them. How do I explain that to Zeke? He’s tried to tell me the same for two years, and I’ve never once listened.
“If you want back, fight for it, Tori. Everyone is capable of atonement.” His eyes bore into mine, willing me to have hope. But all my hope is gone.
“You don’t know the things I’ve done.” The words are whispered. “There might still be hope for you. Don’t allow me to drag you down.”
“I don’t care about any of that, Tori. I just want you.” He clears his throat. “As my friend,” he amends.
“What if it’s just our connection to Heaven that has you feeling this way, Zeke? What if it’s not real?”
“Does it matter, Tori? Isn’t fate designed by Heaven? Do humans question the love they feel for another because it was destined? No. They embrace it, and so should you.”
“What if I’m scared?”
“What’s there to be scared of? We’re on Earth for a reason, and we’re lucky to have each other.”
I groan, turning my back to him. I don’t want Zeke to see my vulnerability. He’s already witnessed too much of it tonight. “What if He takes that away from us too?”
“God?”
“Yes. If we’re banished to Earth, He doesn’t want us to be happy. It’s a punishment.”
“I’ll take whatever I can have of you, for however long I can, Tori.” His chest is pressed against my back, and chills race up my spine at the contact. “Whatever it is pulling me to you, it’s strong. I don’t want to fight it.”
A desperate feeling comes over me. A crazed need to be held. To have the events of the night wiped away. I could give in to this intense pull too. I could have more with Zeke. If I’m condemned to this fate, why not allow this? He’s as perfect as they come. Looks aside—and those are some impressive looks—he gets me like nobody else ever could. I’m immortal. He’s immortal. We could actually have a chance at a future. But he doesn’t know my past.
“I’m broken.”
“Who isn’t?” he counters. “Tori, we both fell. The reasons behind it and the things that have happened since don’t matter. They don’t define us. They don’t define you.” He turns me back toward him, putting his fingers beneath my chin and tipping it upward. “All I see when I look at you is a strong, beautiful woman. Nothing evil. Never that.”
His words are a balm to my bruised and shattered soul. The way he looks at me, as if he truly sees me, gives me hope I dare not keep. Self-preservation has been my crutch, and losing that now wouldn’t be in my best interest. But to hell with playing things safe.
I inhale deeply, relishing the way Zeke makes me feel despite knowing better. I haven’t felt like this since?—
I pull out of Zeke’s grip at the thought of him.
The man who made me fall. The ultimate deceiver.
