A blush creeps up my neck.
I made an extra effort to dress up, partially for my date but mostly for me. I’m wearing a black formfitting dress with cutouts at the sides and strappy sandals with the barest heel. My winged eyeliner is sharp enough to cut, red lip meticulously done, the shade so dark it’s almost black. I needed something to make me appear more confident than I feel, and the ensemble helped for the most part.
“Thank you.” I shrug, but a pleased grin pulls the corners of my lips. Julian’s not half bad either in his tapered slacks and white button-down, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. I’m not the only one who changed clothes after the grocery store run. But then again, I’m not surprised. He always looks good.
“You don’t play fair, do you? Give a guy a warning next time.” His breath is warm on my skin, causing shivers to run up and down my spine. If he looks down, he’ll see goose bumps erupting on my bare arms. For the umpteenth time this week, that kiss flashes through my mind. His hand on my back, his tongue teasing the crease of my lips open, his thigh between my legs. “One look at you and I almost blew our cover.”
I find that hard to believe.The reply is on the tip of my tongue, his unaffected, familiar grin from when he answered the door at the forefront of my mind. There was nothing in his face that gave him away.
But I think I like this new, tormented Julian. It’s a side I haven’t seen of him before. The low rumble of his voice and the way his usually warm brown eyes darken to a cool obsidian, more pupil than iris. I almost wish it were only the two of us in his apartment, unimpeded by my family members in the living room. These are dangerous thoughts, but he’s putting us in a dangerous position right now, looking at me the way he is. Leaning into my overheated body, eating up the inches of space between us.
“Oh?” I ask. “Good thing you caught yourself. That would’ve gone on your permanent record for sure.”
“Is that so?” His eyes gleam with an unspoken challenge. He’s about to say something else but clears his throat instead when my sister walks into the kitchen. Startled, I turn around and take two big steps away from Julian, praying Elena doesn’t sense anything off.
“Kayla texted. Apparently, Andrew insisted on making a pit stop to Walmart before heading back from the movie. They’re going to be late.”
Luckily for us, Elena is too annoyed to pick up on any weirdness between me and Julian. Growing up, she was the hardest family member to hide secrets from. But from the way she’s barely looking at us, her mind must be occupied on the stress of party planning. “When’s your date coming? I’m anxious to meet this new man of yours.”
I feel rather than see Julian’s eyes boring into the side of my face. My skin flames for an entirely different reason now, and I’m unable to look at him. “It’s only our second date. Stop calling him my man.” I glance down at my phone, checking for his last message. “He said he’ll be here in thirty minutes.”
“Good. Andrew’s friends should start showing up by then too.”
Diego calls for her attention and she returns to the living room, leaving Julian and me alone again.
“So that’s why you’re dressed up tonight,” he says once Elena’s out of earshot. “For Nathaniel.”
“I’m sure I told you he was coming,” I say idly, though I keep my gaze trained on the floor. I’m unable to properly name the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It can’t be guilt. He’s the reason I’m even dating the guy in the first place.
“You didn’t,” he says. “I would’ve remembered.”
That sinking feeling only grows when I finally chance a glance at him. He’s the one who won’t look at me now. Twice, I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. I’m not even sure what I’ve done wrong. Yes, we kissed. Yes, it was fuckingfantastic. Yes, it’s complicated everything despite the fact that kissing didn’t change anything between us. We’re still friends. At least, I think we are.
Without warning, he turns his back on me and heads into the living room. If he’s mad, not an inch of him shows it as he and Diego laugh over an inside joke. While I’m alone in the kitchen, I pour Coke into a plastic cup and a liberal amount of rum when I’m sure no one’s looking. Pretty sure I’ll need it tonight.
The minutes pass in slow increments as we wait for the first guests to arrive. I glance around the room after the first half hour, taking stock of the attendees so far. A handful of Andrew and Julian’s college friends trickle in, completely harmless in that I don’t recognize a single one of them. It’s not long before my phone lights up with an incoming message, letting me know Nathaniel is outside.
“Wow.” His eyes scan me head to toe once I let him inside. “You look…wow.”
“Thanks.” I wave him off. “So do you.” And he really does, in his simple gray button-down shirt and dark jeans. His smile is sweet, and when he reaches for my hand, I squeeze his back.
“There you are.”
My spine straightens at the sound of my mom’s voice behind me. I turn to face her with a tight smile, wishing I could throw Nathaniel in front of my body like a shield. Instead, I return her hug by wrapping an arm around her back.
“Your father and I have been looking for you. We haven’t gotten to say hi to you yet.”
“Here I am.” When her eyes land on Nathaniel, I introduce them with a quick “Mom, Nathaniel. Nathaniel, Mom.”
“I didn’t believe Elena when she told us you were bringing someone.”
Oh good, my dad’s joined in. Rather than hug as a greeting, he tips his chin down at me in a nod. For Nathaniel, he holds out a hand for a handshake. As Nathaniel makes small talk with my parents, I turn my head and immediately meet Julian’s eyes. His smile comes easy, even as my thoughts are roiling. He’s the one who helped me get here, but something still feels…wrong.
“I like this one,” my mom tells me after Nathaniel asks for directions to the bathroom. She leans in conspiratorially, like I’m finally in on one of her secrets. “Don’t let him get away.”
“Mom, please.” I sigh. “Don’t get too attached. It’s only our second date.”
“I knew early on your mother was the one,” my dad says, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and looking down at her so sweetly, I could gag.
