“I will,” I tell him, though the thought of returning to my other matches sounds exhausting. “Thanks again for all the help. I couldn’t have managed it on my own.”
“Give yourself more credit than that.” He grips my shoulder,squeezing lightly, and my stomach flips at the contact. “I’m glad everything’s working out so far.”
Once he’s gone, Bella quickly takes his empty spot on the couch and rounds on me. She doesn’t say anything, but the look on her face is enough.
“What?”
“Do I really need to say it?” She asks. “You don’t like this Nathaniel guynearlyas much as you like Julian, do you?”
“Julian and I are friends,” I remind her. “I feel nothing but friendliness toward him. You’re not totally wrong about Nathaniel, though. We had a great time and he seems fine. I’m just not sure there’s a connection between us yet. I’ll need a few more dates to know for sure.”
“That seems like an awful lot of work to put into someone you feel tepid about,” she says. “I’ll never understand single people.”
“You’re single too!”
“Single people whodate,” she clarifies. “But what do I know? I’m a single mom who hasn’t had dating prospects in five years.”
“Have you thought about getting back out there?” I ask her. “Is Luis dating?”
“No, and I don’t want to know,” she answers. “I’m content. Dating would potentially mean changing Mari’s life, and I’m not ready for that.”
“Well, you know I’m here for you when you are.” I squeeze her hand. “Come on. I’ll tell you more about the date over some cheap boxed wine.”
“I get more details than Julian?” She places a hand over her heart. “I’m honored.”
“Nathaniel said he wasn’t going to kiss me,” I tell her, lugging the box onto the counter before making a grab for two wineglasses. “But then he asked for a second date. Is that weird?”
“Not so weird,” she tells me. “Sounds like he was trying to be a gentleman.”
“It’s not what I’m used to, I guess.” Steven kissed me on our first date when we made it back to his dorm to watch a movie. We spent that whole night kissing, and every time we hung out from then on, he’d lead us back to his room to make out. I didn’t mind the kissing. I just wished he’d made more of an effort to be romantic. “Making out was all Steven and I did when we were together.”
“Steven was a jerk.” Bella scowls.No argument there.“So what if Nathaniel’s not a first-date kisser? He was probably trying to ease up on the pressure.”
“The funny thing is, I wasn’t even thinking about kissing him until he brought it up,” I tell her. “If there was any sort of connection between us, I’d be thinking about kissing him. Wouldn’t I?”
Kissing Steven, other than the first time, did virtually nothing for me when we were together. Our first kiss was spontaneous and romantic. I melted at the way his hands cupped my cheeks like I was something precious and sank into it immediately. It was the kind of kiss I’d fantasized about us having for so long.
None of our other kisses lived up to that first one, though. At first I thought maybe I’d built up the moment to something it wasn’t, but now I realize it was the romance of it all that was missing from our other kisses. Despite his assurances that we could wait until I was ready, I think Steven saw making out as a precursor for sex. It only ever happened in his bed, and I didn’t know what to do when I felt him hard against my thigh. Most times I’d ignore it completely and try to lose myself in the moment, not that I was ever able to.
“Leti, it was one date,” Bella reminds me. “You hardly know the guy. Let time takes its natural course before you freak about not wanting to kiss Nathaniel.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to kiss him,” I grumble, but evenI’mnot sure if it’s the truth or not. Maybe the issue is I don’t know Nathaniel well enough yet. As if to screw with me, my brain conjures images of Julian. His sparkling brown eyes staring down at me. Those eyes flicking down to my mouth, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. I have to cut off the fantasy right there, because if I let it go on any longer, I’m going to be indeepshit. “You know what? Maybe you’re right. I’m not gonna dwell on it anymore.”
“Can I ask you something?” When I nod, she asks, “Why didn’t you tell Julian any of this? He’s been helping with your dating apps, but you basically brushed him off and let him believe the date went well.”
“Itdidgo well.”
“But not without any issues,” she pushes. “Well?”
“I don’t know.” When her eyes narrow on me, I give in. “Because talking to Julian aboutkissingwould be awkward, okay?”
“Why would it be awkward?” Her grin is far too smug for my liking. “Been thinking about kissing Julian yourself, have you?”
“What?No.” God, I’m such a liar. “I already told you it’s not like that with us.”
“Uh-huh.” She shakes her head and gulps her wine. “I’ve gotta go get Mari ready for bed, but I’ll keep asking until I get a straight answer from you.”
“Sure.”
