I wrapped my other hand around her waist and pulled her into me, letting her feel my hardening cock against her belly. Her intake of breath was sharp and swift, and when I tightened my hand again, it turned into one of those hungry, needy whimpers that had set my heart pounding when I’d had her on my desk yesterday. ‘Does this feel like I feel sorry for you, Fiona?’
Her head fell back against the wall as I grazed my teeth against the spot behind her ear, the one that had made her leap abouttwelve feet into the air when I’d discovered it. ‘Oh,’ she sighed, fingers clenching tight around mine. ‘Oh, Satoshi, oh my god, oh –oh my god stop stop stop.’
I released her immediately. Sadie was standing at the other end of the corridor, expression somewhere between agape and a grin. ‘I was coming to see if you were all right,’ she said to Fiona. ‘You – well, you seem to be just fine.’
I turned swiftly so Sadie wouldn’t see my extremely unprofessional erection. ‘We’ll talk later, all right?’
Fiona nodded, the movement so short and sharp it looked like her teeth were chattering.
I couldn’t resist reaching out and squeezing her fingers in mine, just once. ‘You’re not asking anything of me,’ I told her quietly, ‘that I don’t want to give you.’
I had to stand in the cellar for a long time until I was composed enough to go back onto the restaurant floor. When I finally emerged with the arneis, I didn’t allow myself even a single glance at Fiona. I was teetering on the edge of something, and she’d only have to use one finger to push me over.
A while later, though, when I came out with their red wine, an Etna rosso, our eyes met.
I’d lit a candle on my guéridon so I could decant the wine over it and see when the sediment began to flow. You were never supposed to look away from the bottle while you were decanting, but Fiona was directly in my line of sight, just beyond the flickering light of the flame, and I only had so much strength.
She smiled at me. Just a little, just the gentlest curve of the corners of her mouth, but she smiled, and relief washed over me.
And for the first time in many years, despite having decanted more bottles of wine than most people would ever lay eyes on, I spilled a few drops.
Chapter FiveFiona
Tasting today: pink lemonade, served to your children in beautiful glasses.
A drink that will melt your teeth, but maybe also your heart.
‘Rosie, please slow down,’ I said, phone jammed between my ear and my shoulder as I slid a piece of toast onto her plate. ‘You’re going to make yourself—’
‘—sick if I eat too fast, I know!’ Rosie kept shovelling scrambled eggs into her mouth as I put the other piece of toast on Georgia’s plate and craned my head to look down the corridor for her.
‘—sue for back payment!’ Dad was saying on the other end of the phone.
‘Kavita said we can explore that option. But we need to get the divorce finalised first, or – Georgia, don’t run, please! – it could lead to a renegotiation of – Georgia! – Sorry, Dad.’
‘I’m not looking for my money back here.’ If my dad had one superpower, it was being able to carry on a conversation by himself. ‘No grandchild of mine will ever go without. But it’s the principle of the thing, Fiona.’
‘I’m doing my best,’ I said tightly.
He grunted. I flicked the kettle on. He was clearly about to launch into a monologue about my inadequacies, and I needed the fortification of a cup of tea.
But, ‘Your mother wants to talk to you,’ was all he said. ‘Here she is.’
My mum already knew all the details, but I had to relive them for her anyway, taking my tea out into the backyard so I could watch the girls through the kitchen window without them overhearing all about how their father was a scumbag. ‘What an awful, awful man,’ Mum said. ‘Rubbing that woman in your face like that – sickening.’
‘Yeah, it was.’ I shifted the phone to my other ear. ‘But it was bound to happen sometime. At least it wasn’t in front of the kids.’
‘Still.’ She made a tutting sound. ‘I hope you’re doing something for yourself, Fiona.’
‘What?’
‘Something for yourself,’ she repeated. ‘You’ve been so laser-focused on holding things together for the kids. You need to make sure you’re doing things for yourself too.’
For a moment, I was back in the restaurant corridor, Satoshi grinding his hips into me. My face heated.
‘I’m going to send you a gift voucher,’ Mum said. ‘For a night in a nice hotel. Jonah can take the kids and you can have a self-care evening.’
‘You don’t need to do that.’
