To my surprise, Lex was the one who responded. ‘You should go to Tsundoku after, Mum.’
I blinked. They gestured at the voucher. ‘That’s across the road from Tsundoku, right? You should go there after.’
‘Don’t you want to wait until you can come with me?’ I started to say, but Dad talked right over me.
‘What’s this you’re talking about?’
‘It’s this cool place Mum and I like,’ Lex replied. ‘You might like it too, Grandpa. They haveheapsof books. That’s what tsundoku means – it’s Japanese for collecting lots of books and letting them pile up because you haven’t read them yet.’
‘You should always read the books you own,’ Dad said severely.
‘I do,’ Lex said stubbornly. ‘But don’t you think it’s exciting? The idea that you have so many books there’s always something left to read?’
‘Hmph,’ my dad replied.
By his standards, that was conceding the argument, and my heart swelled painfully with pride for my brilliant, perfect child.
‘All right,’ I said. ‘Maybe I will.’
I’d walked past the day spa plenty of times, but I’d never actually been in. It was on the second floor, up a narrow set of stairs, and I had a stern conversation with myself as I went up them.You’re about to have a perfectly lovely afternoon. Lots of people work here. Don’t catastrophise about something that probably won’t happen.
But, of course, it did. ‘Welcome!’ Kieran said, smiling brightly at me from behind the reception desk. ‘You must be—’ he checked his screen ‘—Fiona, right?’
I made myself smile back. ‘That’s me.’
‘I’m Kieran. I’ll be your therapist today.’ He looked at me closely. ‘Have we met before? You look familiar.’
‘I – not formally, I don’t think. But—’
He snapped his fingers. ‘You’re one of Satoshi’s regulars.’
I could only hope my expression didn’t look too pained as I nodded.
‘Well, then, you’re a woman of great taste.’ He waggled his eyebrows at me. ‘He is my very favourite ex. And you’ll appreciateour post-treatment glass of bubbles – he’s our supplier. Come with me and we’ll get you set up.’
Kieran left me in a treatment room with instructions to take off everything except my underwear – truly,trulynot something anyone should ever have to hear from their hot young lover’s hot young ex. ‘Where are you feeling the most tension?’ he asked when he came back in, straightening the towel I’d clumsily laid over my back with a few quick, deft movements. ‘I’m guessing neck and shoulders, right? You seem like a woman who works hard.’
My brain translated that into so many negative comments about how aged and withered and haggard I was that it was impossible to draw out just one. ‘Um, yes. I sit at a desk a lot, when I’m not chasing around after my kids.’
‘A mum! Wow. That’s the hardest job of all.’ Kieran folded the towel down, exposing the length of my back – and then, in a way that would have been fine if it had been any other masseuse but was mortifying because it was him, tugged my underwear down slightly to expose the tops of my butt-cheeks. ‘I hope your husband doesn’t make you doallthe work.’
‘No – ah! – husband. Just me.’
Kieran had dug his thumbs hard into the small of my back. ‘Just what I suspected. You might not feel it day-to-day, but you’re carrying alotof tension in your lower back. I’m not surprised, if you’re raising a family all alone.’
I winced as he did it again. ‘Not all alone. I’ve got – ah! – help. My – oh god, that hurts – family—’
‘I’ll back off a bit.’ The pressure of his thumbs eased, and I let out a long breath. ‘We’re not here to torture you today – even if it would make you feel better afterwards.’
I had a sudden flashback to one of my Thursday nights with Satoshi. It had felt like torture – he’d brought me to the brink of orgasm probably ten times before he’d let me come (Trust me,he’dwhispered, pinning my wrists above my head as I almost sobbed with how close I was,it’ll be worth it, I’ve got you). When he finally had, I’d absolutely detonated, and afterwards, it had felt like I’d ascended to some higher plane.
‘But we’ll still pay some attention to it, okay? The body keeps the score, and we carry more emotion in the hips than we realise.’ Kieran’s hands smoothed up the length of my spine, forcing me to remember that they had once been on Satoshi too. ‘Any pain here?’ He pressed two fingers into the side of my jaw, just in front of my ear.
‘Some.’ Dealing with my dad always made me grit my teeth.
‘I can tell. You’ve got some swelling in your jaw.’
Your face is swollen and misshapen, my brain immediately translated.
