Jonah’s voice was gravelly, in a way I’d only heard once before: that night in the kitchen.Elias and Fiona and I aren’t like you and your sister. Sometimes I’m so fucking jealous of you, Shaw.
Chess should be here. She shouldbe here.
Elias slapped Jonah’s back again. ‘I wouldn’t have missed it.’
I took my phone out again.At the airport now. Please come. We can’t leave it like this, Chessie.
‘I might, um…’ I was dimly aware of Jonah saying. ‘At work. If I run into… do you want me to…?’
‘No,’ Elias replied. ‘Let those sleeping dogs lie.’
Then he slapped Jonah’s back a third time. ‘Look after Fi, okay? Tell the kids Uncle Elias said hi.’
‘I will.’ Jonah turned to me. ‘Ready to go?’
I wasn’t. Not even remotely.
I nodded, pulling the handle of my carry-on bag up.
The security line was moving at a glacial pace. I was probably the only person who was glad about it. Every step forward felt like a piece of bamboo being jammed under my fingernails, right into the veins that led to my heart.
‘I think we should get a car,’ Jonah said abruptly.
I glanced up at him. ‘What?’
‘I know we decided not to.’ We shuffled forward another few increments in the line. ‘But I think we need to revisit the conversation.’
Conversationwas a euphemism. It had been an argument, one of the more intense ones we’d had during our month-long engagement. If our housemates had overheard it, they would have assumed we were either on the verge of breaking up or ripping each other’s clothes off.
‘Hobart’s not like Sydney,’ he said. ‘There’s so much less public transport, especially when you get out of the city centre. I’m telling you, Shaw, it makes sense to buy a car.’
‘Have you magically found some buying-a-car money lying around? Because I sure haven’t.’
‘We could get a loan together. What if Fi needs us to pick up the kids or something? How are we going to do that without a car?’
The line moved forward a few more steps. Suddenly, I was completely, utterly exhausted.
‘Okay,’ I said.
‘What?’
I held up the finger with my engagement and wedding rings on it like I was flipping him the bird, the closest thing to resistance I could muster. ‘In for a penny, right?’
He ran a hand over his beard. ‘I, um, thought that would be harder.’
I didn’t have the energy to respond.
There was still no sign of Chess by the time we’d cleared security, no matter how hard I craned my neck looking for her while Jonah got pulled aside for a random bomb check.
‘I’m just going to go to the gate and sit,’ I told him when he’d been given the all-clear. Surely, if Chess did come, that would be the first place she’d go. ‘Feel free to wander. I can look after your luggage, if you want.’
‘That’s okay. I’ll come with you.’
‘Suit yourself.’
We were running early – despite my earlier attempts to delay in the hope that Chess would turn up at the house, the Fisher brothers had overruled me on the importance of beating the traffic, two to one – so our gate was mostly empty, but I guided us to seats as far away from the boarding area as possible. If we had our backs to the wall, I theorised, we’d be able to see everyone that walked towards us.
What was I going to do if Chess didn’t come? How was I supposed to get on this plane withyou love me too muchbeing the last thing I’d said to her?
