And then I was running to her.
Something in my left hip crunched as I slid to my knees in front of her, but I ignored it. ‘Lily,’ I said. ‘Lily, Lily, Lily, hey, I’m here.’
I cupped her face in my hands, my palms against her mascara-stained cheeks, stroking her cheekbones with my thumbs. ‘Lily.’
‘Murray, no,’ she said, voice hoarse. ‘I didn’t – you don’t – you don’t—’
‘Shut up,’ I told her, pressing one hand to the back of her head and pulling her into me.
Her arms snaked around my neck, tight, so tight, as if she could hold us together if she just held on tight enough. ‘I love you,’ she sobbed into my throat. ‘Don’t let me go.’
‘I won’t,’ I promised. ‘Never.’
‘I didn’t mean for it to happen like that,’ Lily said later.
We were in my hotel room. It was two in the morning – given all the chaos, we hadn’t been able to leave the studio until much later than planned – and we were sitting side by side on my bed, leaning back against the pillows.
It would have been so easy to fall into that bed, to kiss her and peel her clothes off and let the pillows swallow us, but we hadn’t. We were both still fully dressed, me in my producer blacks, her in her designer gown. The only things we’d taken off were our shoes, and the only place we were touching were our hands, fingers brushing lightly against each other on the covers.
‘I want to be clear about that,’ she said. ‘That wasn’t intended to be some stunt to manipulate you into feeling sorry for me and taking me back out of pity.’
‘I know,’ I said. ‘If it had been, it wouldn’t have worked. I’m not a fucking amateur.’
That drew a smile. ‘No. You’re not.’
Her thumb brushed over my knuckles. ‘Thank god,’ she added.
I chuckled.
‘I don’t want to watch it back,’ she said. ‘Ever. I don’t think I can stand to watch myself have that many feelings in front of that many people. How embarrassing.’
‘You know,’ I said, ‘you’re actually very romantic, deep down.’
‘Take that back.’
‘It’s true.’
‘I’ve changed my mind.’ She pushed herself up out of the pillows. ‘This was all a terrible mistake. Bye.’
I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back. ‘You,’ I growled, ‘are not going anywhere.’
‘Fine, fine.’
I put my arm around her. She nestled into me, resting her head on my shoulder. I rested mine on top of hers.
It was comfortable. Easy. We fit together perfectly.
‘I’m right, though,’ I said.
‘Shut up.’
‘I am. Only someone who’sextremelysappy would have said the shit you did about being a fairy godmother for Dylan and Cece.’
She made a disgusted noise, but she snuggled deeper into me. ‘I promised grovelling—’ she turned her head so she could press her lips to my collarbone, ‘—so I’ll let you have this one.’
I stroked her hair. ‘We have to talk about that.’
‘About what? The grovelling?’
