Instead, I gently redirected the subject from cause to effect. ‘I almost fell asleep in an ITM with Amanda today.’
‘Murray!’
Lily smacked me in the shoulder and then clambered off my lap. ‘No sex for you. You need a nap.’
I caught her hand. ‘Will you stay?’
I didn’t know if it was the desperation in my voice or something else that caused it, but she smiled, the lines of her body softening. ‘Of course I’ll stay.’
She sat back down on the bed, grabbing my pillow and putting it on her lap. ‘Come here.’
I lay down, head on the pillow. She started threading her fingers through my hair, over and over again.
I closed my eyes. Her fingernails scratched gently against my scalp.
‘So how did Amanda react when you fell asleep in her interview?’ she said.
‘Asked me if I was all right.’
‘Of course she did.’
‘Then I asked her about Dylan G and she clammed up. I had to push hard to get much out of her after that.’
‘They’re still mad at each other?’
‘Yes. Any idea why that is? You just spent a month sharing a bedroom with them.’
‘Genuinely no idea. I mean, they’re obviously attracted to each other, and something clearly went down around that dinner party, but I have no idea what the specifics are.’
‘Mmm… okay.’ Her fingers were turning my bones to liquid. ‘Reason doesn’t really matter. Easier to build a feud in the edit off a blank slate. And now you’re gone, that’s basically the only conflict I have left in the Villa, so…’
‘Shhhh.’ Lily’s thumb brushed over my temple. ‘Turn your brain off for a while, Murray. Get some rest.’
It was too easy, really, to do what she said and turn my brain off. I’d spent too many years compartmentalising, and now I was too good at it.
And how could I not put the inconvenient things away, when the woman I loved was right in front of me? When I finally had my best friend back – and I had her right where I’d always wanted her?
‘… wait, so Amanda and girl-Dylan are fucking now?’ Lily asked me a few days later, the next time I managed to sneak her out of the Convent.
We certainly had been. We were both naked, and she was sitting between my legs on my bed, leaning back against my chest. I’d just given her the second half of my show update. The first half had happened during foreplay – we were both very good at multitasking – but she’d made me wait until after to tell her the rest, on the grounds that she wasn’t doing her job properly if I could think about anything but her while we were actually having sex.
‘Something’s happened, that’s for sure,’ I replied, resting my chin on her shoulder. ‘They told me this morning that they’d made up and they wanted to film a reconciliation scene. I’ve never seen two people do a worse job of hiding their feelings. Their heart eyes are going to jump off the fucking screen.’
‘So now both Dylans might blow up your terrible plan.’
‘Can you lay off the plan? I don’t need your criticism. I need your help.’
‘My criticismishelpful.’ She elbowed me in the ribs as she nestled deeper into me. ‘But fine. Let’s figure this out. What are you thinking?’
‘Two options,’ I said. ‘I’ve got to separate them – so I can either break them up, or get Dylan JM to eliminate Amanda an episode earlier than I planned.’
‘Or let it play out.’
‘Lily.’
‘I’m serious.’ She twisted her head around to look at me. ‘Girl-Dylan and Amanda are into each other. Boy-Dylan and Cece are into each other. Just let them all be together. Let them find a genuine happy ending. Problem solved.’
‘Problem absolutely not solved. Firstly, the network just offered Cece the lead on the next series ofWherefore. I don’t care how much she likes Dylan JM, she’s not turning down that sign-on fee. Secondly, Dylan G is just as money-motivated. She’s not risking her fee either, even if she’s fallen for Amanda. Thirdly, Dylan JM won’t risk the story; and fourthly, even if none of these were concerns, we’re too far gone. I’ve put too much time and effort into the Double Dylan plotline. I don’t have the building blocks for anything else.’
