‘Good,’ she said. ‘Anyway, good night, babe.’
‘Night,’ I said.
I flopped back against my pillow, nearly hitting my head against the roof in the process, clutching the cards to my chest.
A list. She had written a list of nice things about me and put them on cards, so I didn’t forget a single one of them. Alist.
Don’t make heart eyes at Dylan.
I was in so much trouble.
11
‘Welcome to today’s group date!’ Z said. ‘All nine of you have been invited along to spend some time with Dylan today.’
We all cheered and applauded. It was our third week on the show, and we were well-rehearsed by now. The producers hardly ever had to make us reshoot our reactions.
(Well, except for during the last Necklace Ceremony, where Jess K had been eliminated. She’d been one of Lily’s few friends – was ‘friends’ the right word? ‘allies’? ‘henchwomen’? ‘people she wasn’t actively trying to make cry’? – in the Villa, and Lily had pitched an absolute fit about it. Murray had made us shoot that bit four times, for the opposite reason we usually had to reshoot things: Lily’s reaction was way too big, rather than way too small.
‘You’d think a plant wouldn’t fight with him so much,’ Dylan had said as we took our make-up off in the bathroom together. ‘He says she isn’t a plant,’ I’d replied, and she’dsnorted and said, ‘Yeah, sure, Murray, cool story bro.’ I’d felt stupid for believing him, and she’d noticed and said, ‘Babe, thinking the best of people isn’t a character flaw, go look at your affirmation cards,’ and I’d had to bend over and pretend I was having trouble tying my hair into a topknot so I could take a few deep breaths.)
‘Today, you will be divided into three groups,’ Z said. ‘You’re here to win Dylan’s heart, so you’re going to build a love machine and throw your hearts right at him.’
Romeo-Dylan looked appropriately embarrassed by the phrase ‘love machine’. I focused on him, so I wouldn’t look at my Dylan. I was trying so, so hard not to make heart eyes at her. I’d done a pretty good job over the past few days – Mandie 2.0 was back in control – but the easiest way to avoid it was still just… not to look at her.
I knew what her expression would be, though (‘Love machines?Love machines?’). Biting back my laugh took a lot of effort.
Z explained the rest of the rules. Each team would have twenty plushie hearts, and once they built their love machine, they had to use it to fire them into a pool. ‘You’ll be divided into groups of three,’ Z said. ‘Group one will be Parisa, Jess D and Kumiko. Group two will be Naya, Heather and Belinda. That leaves group three: Amanda, Dylan G and Lily Fireball.’
My eyes went straight to Murray, who was standing a few metres away, out of camera shot.Hey Murray, here’s an idea,a braver version of me would say to him.If you don’t want me to make heart eyes at Dylan, how about you don’t put her right in front of me?
But he wasn’t looking at me. His gaze, like the cameras, was tracking Lily Fireball as she strode over towards us. ‘You better not get in my way, bitches,’ she said, flicking her hair over her shoulder. ‘Or there’ll be hell to pay.’
‘Did you read some kind of book on how to be a cartoon villain?’ Dylan said. ‘Watch too many Disney movies and imprint on the wrong characters? What is this whole persona you’re doing?’
‘Your worst nightmare,’ Lily said, smiling widely and batting her eyelashes.
Luckily for Dylan’s blood pressure, Z started talking again. ‘The winning team will get a little after-party with our Romeo, and then one lucky lady will get some additional one-on-one-time. You all know that time with the Romeo is the most important thing you can have if you want to keep developing those connections, particularly as we approach the halfway mark of the season, so, Juliets: make today count!’
A cameraman trailed behind Lily, Dylan and I as we traipsed over to the pieces of our love machine. It was marked by a sign with a big red number 3 on it, planted slightly crookedly in the ground.
There was a set of instructions on top of the machine components. I picked them up and scanned through them quickly. ‘All right,’ I said. ‘This doesn’t look super complicated. If we just lay out the pieces by number, then—’
‘Get out of the way,’ Lily said, ripping the instructions out of my hands and giving me a paper cut. ‘I’m going to take charge on this project. You two will only slow me down.’
‘Um, Amanda’s a mechanic,’ Dylan said, snatching the instructions back. ‘If anyone’s going to take the lead, it’s going to be her.’
Lily turned her terrifying gaze on me. ‘Are you a mechanic for love machines?’
‘No,’ I said, sucking my cut finger, only barely resisting the urge to back away. ‘Obviously not.’
‘Then give me that!’ Lily tore the instructions out of Dylan’s hand. ‘I’m amazing at IKEA flatpack furniture. I’m going to nail this.’
‘IKEA?’ Dylan said. ‘Really? You think building a couple of Billy bookshelves stands up against her being an actual mechanic?’
‘I don’t think about her much at all,’ Lily said coolly.
‘Hey, both of you, how about we calm down?’ I said, suddenly understanding why I’d been paired with them. They were the drama. I was the buffer. ‘This isn’t helping. We’re never going to win the extra time if we don’t get this done.’
