I grabbed another make-up wipe and started taking off my mascara so she wouldn’t see the tears beading in the corners of my eyes.
‘Plus, you have extremely good opinions about theReal Housewives of Auckland,’ she said, turning around and leaning against the second sink. ‘It’s rare to find someone who has such good and correct takes.’
I bit my lip.You cry too easily.
I tried my hardest. Not again not againnot again.
‘Oh, Mandie,’ Dylan said, as the tears started running down my cheeks.
She pulled me to her, the same way that Romeo-Dylan had pulled Marija to him downstairs. ‘If I’d knownReal Housewivesmade you so sad I never would have made you watch it with me.’
I tried to laugh at the same time as I was sobbing and nearly ended up choking.
She didn’t let go. She just kept stroking my hair. ‘Who did this to you?’ she said. ‘Who made it so hard for you to hear nice things about yourself? To think nice things about yourself?’
I didn’t say anything. Icouldn’tsay anything.
She sighed. ‘If I ever meet that fucking shithead ex-boyfriend of yours, I’m going to kick him in the nuts so hard they come out his nose.’
‘Girlfriend,’ I whispered.
‘Hmmm?’
I pulled back. ‘Girlfriend,’ I repeated. ‘Jac. Not my ex-boyfriend. She’s my ex-girlfriend.’
There was a pause. Not even a heartbeat. The space between heartbeats, maybe. The briefest instant.
‘She’s still a shithead, though, right?’ Dylan said. ‘Because I’m still intending to kick her extremely hard for doing such a number on you.’
9
‘Okay,’ Dylan said, the next day. ‘The girlfriend thing. I have a couple of questions. Is that all right?’
It was early in the morning, the sky still pink and silver from the sunrise. We hadn’t exactly agreed that we’d get up with the sun, but it had somehow happened anyway. Quietly, as the other three women in our room slept, we got dressed, went downstairs, grabbed breakfast and went outside.
There weren’t any camera crew around yet, but there were cameras mounted in nearly every room downstairs, and mics hanging from the ceiling. There was almost nowhere we could go without being seen and without being heard, and it meant the world to me that Dylan hadn’t said a single thing until we were outdoors and well clear of the Villa, outside the range of prying ears and eyes.
‘Of course,’ I said. ‘Ask away.’
‘Don’t worry. I’m not going to ask you anything weird or gross.’
‘Oh, then I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I’m only prepared to answer weird and gross questions. No others. They’re the only kind I like.’
She snorted. ‘Ha ha,’ she said, tapping the end of my nose with her finger. ‘Cute.’
I took a bite of my cereal, doing my best to ignore how much I liked that casual, easy, intimate little gesture.
‘No, it’s more logistical questions,’ she said. ‘Some things I wanted to check. You’re not out on the show, right?’
I shook my head. ‘I know there have been queer Juliets before,’ I said, through my mouthful. ‘And, like, more power to them, but it always seems like it’s made their livessuperunpleasant, you know?’
‘God, yes,’ Dylan said, taking a mouthful of her own cereal. ‘Like when Crystal S came out last year and Brandi started that whole “Oh, ew, I don’t want to sleep in the same room as her, what if she’sin lovewith me?!” bullshit.’
‘Or like three years ago when Gracie came out to Andrew and then he just casually outed her to all the women in the Villa without asking her, and those twins – what were their names? They started with M?’
‘Madison and Mackenzie.’
‘Yes! Them. Remember how they sat her down and were all like, “Gracie, you need to remember how conservative Andrew is, his family would never accept someone like you”?’
