‘Marija, I’m so sorry,’ Z said, ‘but this is the end of your journey. We wish you well on your road to love ahead.’
Marija burst into tears.
‘Hey, hey, hey,’ Romeo-Dylan said, striding up to her. ‘I’m sorry, Marija. I’m so sorry.’
She wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed into his shoulder. He held her for what was probably a few moments but felt more like a few minutes as she cried. ‘Can I walk you out?’ he asked, when she finally pulled back.
She nodded. The cameras crowded around them as they left the Necklace Ceremony room.
‘Is that it?’ Parisa asked. ‘Are we done for the night?’
‘Not yet,’ Suzette said. ‘Once Dylan JM’s done with Marija, we’ll get him up here to finish off the shoot. You can take five, though.’
I sank down, sitting directly where I’d been standing on the bleachers. Dylan sat down beside me. ‘My calves are killing me,’ she groaned, kicking her heels off and digging her fingers into her ankles.
‘Yeah,’ I agreed vaguely. ‘Ow.’
She poked me in the shoulder. ‘What’s this about?’ she asked, gesturing at my face. ‘You’re all serious.’
‘Oh, nothing,’ I said. ‘I’m just surprised Marija went. Sad, I guess.’
‘Really?’ Dylan said. ‘I know she sleeps like two inches away from us, but I didn’t think you were that close.’
‘It’s not that,’ I said.
I couldn’t exactly tell her what Lily had told me about Marija and I both being wifeys, not with everyone around us, so I hedged. ‘She was just so similar to me,’ I said. ‘Blonde. Nice. If he doesn’t like her, then that doesn’t bode well for me.’
‘First of all, you and she are completely different,’ Dylan said. ‘Secondly, it’s like I told you. If he’s not into you, it’s his loss. You’re amazing.’
I shrugged.
‘Mandie,’ she said, grabbing my arm, ‘you’re amazing. Tell me you know that.’
I was saved from having to answer by Suzette. ‘All right!’ she called. ‘That elimination was rough for Dylan JM, so he’s not coming back tonight! Get back to your places so we can film our outro with Z. If we get this done quick, you can all be in bed in half an hour.’
It took longer than half an hour, of course. Even if Lily hadn’t got into a fight with one of the other women (Heather,this time), sending all the cameras crowding around, there were still ITMs to film and dresses and necklaces to return to wardrobe and the complex bathroom schedule to negotiate so we could all take off our make-up.
But Dylan didn’t let it go.
‘Tell me you know that you’re amazing,’ she demanded, closing the bathroom door behind her. ‘Say it. Say “I’m amazing”.’
I started taking some of the bobby pins out of my hair. ‘I’m amazing,’ I repeated.
She snorted. ‘How about like you mean it?’
I took some more pins out and didn’t say anything.
‘Mandie,’ she said, ‘you’re amazing.’
I met her eyes in the mirror. ‘Thank you for saying that,’ I said. ‘Really.’
You rely too much on validation from other people.
‘You think I just go round telling people they’re amazing?’ she said. ‘It’s true, Mandie. I think you’re great.’
My lip started to tremble. I quickly grabbed a make-up wipe and scrubbed at my lipstick so she wouldn’t be able to see.
‘I know we haven’t known each other that long, but you’re one of my favourite people,’ she said. ‘You’re kind, and you’re funny. And you’re an incredible listener. There aren’t a lot of people with your high level of tolerance for “this is what my kid said today” talk.’
