‘And we’re doing our best to accommodate them,’ I said, reaching over the island and giving her a Mummy Mandie hand pat. ‘All right. On the other days, what if we do a vegan option and a non-vegan option?’
One hour and two rotations of women to hair and make-up later, we finally finished our shopping list. Several pieces of notebook paper covered in my handwriting were stuck to the fridge. One had our meal plan for the week, complete with vegan and non-vegan options. One was a cooking roster. One was blank, except for the heading THINGS WE FORGOT at the top. ‘So we can do a better job next week,’ I said to Dylan,using Blu Tack to stick a pen to the fridge above the blank piece of paper.
‘You did a plenty good job this week, Mandie,’ she said, studying my handiwork as some of the other women started to filter out of the kitchen. ‘You’re an organisational machine.’
‘I’ve just had a lot of practice,’ I said. ‘When you’re the one woman working with a bunch of men, they start assuming that you’ll do all the organising. You should see the morning tea rosters I’ve created.’
‘However you got the skills, they’re impressive as hell,’ Dylan said, slinging an arm around my shoulder and squeezing me briefly.
I felt my cheeks turn red. ‘I like lists,’ I said.
‘I like you,’ she said, kissing the top of my head.
Not like that not like that she doesn’t mean it like that,I chanted in my head.
‘Dylan and Parisa!’ producer Carrie called. ‘Phone call time!’
Dylan dropped her arm from my shoulders. ‘I’ve got to go and talk to Noah,’ she said. ‘If you’ve miraculously managed to put together a cleaning roster by the time I’m done, could you do your best not to give me vacuuming? I hate vacuuming.’
‘You got it,’ I managed to croak.
She left. I turned around and leaned against the kitchen island, taking a deep breath and tapping my fingers on the surface.
I’d been at least partially right the night before. Sleepingon it had changed things. Things were different in the cold, sensible light of morning. The drunken crush that had suddenly exploded like a firework last night had… not fizzled, exactly, but receded, like a wave.
Dylan was attractive. I was attracted to her. That was a fact.
But there were lots of people who were attractive and/or I was attracted to, and I could put them in the friend zone just fine. That was a fact too.
This wasn’t going to be a thing. I wasn’t going to let it be a thing.
Dylan was my friend, and that was plenty. It had been a long time since I’d had someone as ride-or-die as her. In my fragile post-break-up state – a state in which I was definitely very vulnerable and confused! – her friendship was exactly what I needed.
It was all right to enjoy it when people liked me, no matter what Jac used to say about me relying too much on external validation. But it wasn’t all right to get so drunk on being liked that I fell headlong into unrequited, self-sabotaging love with a straight woman and ruined a wonderful friendship. That way was quicksand.
So I wasn’t going to do it. I was actively choosing not to.
Maybe that should go on my list.9) I do my best to make good choices.
Kumiko and I were called for hair and make-up a few minutes later, the last two contestants in the rotation. ‘Did I hear you talking about a cleaning roster?’ Kumiko said as a PA walked us over. ‘Because that’s a really good idea.’
‘We can totally make one,’ I said. ‘Or maybe a chore wheel? To make things fair?’
‘Oooh, good idea.’
The PA got us some paper, and we worked on it together while having our hair done. ‘What chores should be on it?’ I asked Kumiko. ‘Vacuuming, obviously. Mopping. Bathrooms. Kitchen. Do you think we need to clean the windows?’
‘Put it on there anyway,’ she said. ‘We can always take it off.’
I jotted it down. Kumiko looked over. ‘You have really nice handwriting.’
I chuckled.
‘What?’ she asked.
‘Nothing,’ I said. ‘Don’t worry about it. How about dusting?’
By the time we were done with hair and make-up and the twelve of us were finally called for filming, I was feeling a lot more settled. There was something so satisfying about getting things organised. It was one of my favourite things about my job, seeing something that was a big ol’ mess and figuring out not just how to make it work, but how to make it work well.
