‘I never thought she’d make it this far,’ Mum said, ignoring me.
‘Mum!’
‘You’re exactly what I want for her, Dylan,’ Mum said. ‘Someone who likes her for her. Who doesn’t try to change her. Who’ll treat her well.’
I felt Romeo-Dylan’s arm twitch around me. I wasn’t the only one who was profoundly uncomfortable.
‘Thank you,’ Mum said, ‘for helping my Mandie move on.’
On the Zoom screen, I could see that Romeo-Dylan’s smile was just as forced as mine.
‘Hey,’ I said quietly to him, in the break between the Zoom half of the date and the cheeseboard half. Usually one of us would get pulled off immediately to do an ITM, but Murray was in an intense discussion with one of the soundies, so for once, we had an actual moment alone together. ‘Um. My ex. Jac. I should probably tell you…’
‘Tell me what?’ Romeo-Dylan asked.
I put one hand over my lapel mic and one hand over his. ‘It’s short for Jacqueline,’ I whispered. ‘She’s a woman. I’m bi.’
His eyes flickered sideways. Checking for cameras, I realised. ‘You don’t want to be out on the show?’
I shook my head. ‘Not really, no. Murray knows, of course, but…’
‘Don’t worry,’ he said, not making me finish the sentence. ‘I’ll keep it to myself.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Is there…’ His eyes flickered to the cameras again and he lowered his voice even further. ‘Is there a reason you decided to tell me?’
Underneath the hand I had over my mic, I could feel my heart start to pick up speed.
‘I just thought you should know,’ I said. ‘It’s not a big deal, but it is a big part of who I am. Relationships shouldn’t start with secrets.’
I felt him flinch, ever so slightly. ‘That’s true,’ he said quietly.
‘Plus, if it was… you know, an issue for you or something…’
He smiled, a proper smile this time, one that made those creases appear in the corners of his eyes. ‘Of course it isn’t,’ he said. ‘Thank you for telling me. For trusting me.’
He hugged me. It was the perfect reaction. No one could have asked for more from Romeo-Dylan in that moment.
It would have made things so much easier if it wasn’t the perfect reaction. That was probably part of the reason I’d told him, to be honest, even though it was much too petty a reason to admit. Everything would be simpler if he’d reacted in that gross pervy way that some men do, where they think they’re going to be the centrepiece of a threesome. If he’d been super biphobic about it, and recoiled in disgust. If he’d done something, anything, that would make him seem like less of a perfect romantic hero, something that would make Murray say, ‘Oh no, we can’t possibly build the most perfect love story in the universe around this guy, we’ve got to change the narrative in a big way. Dylan G, we’re tearing up that contract.’
It might even have been easier if he’d had the perfect reaction to my face, but been a little weirded out by it in private, and eliminated me at the next Necklace Ceremony.
But no. ‘Amanda, I want to know if your heart is the other half of mine,’ Romeo-Dylan said. ‘Will you take this necklace and commit to finding out with me?’
I could have made it easier for myself by saying no, but I didn’t.
‘Who do you think it is?’ I asked Dylan later that night.
‘Hmmm?’ Her fingers were tracing lines on my shoulder as we spooned.
‘That man-Dylan really likes,’ I said. ‘You said you thought there was someone he actually liked. If it’s not you, who is it?’
‘Maybe it’s you.’
‘Dylan,’ I said, as she stroked her thumb over the spot behind my ear that she’d very quickly worked out made me shiver, ‘yousawus kiss.’
She chuckled. Her breath was warm against the back of my neck. ‘I guess it has to be Kumiko, then,’ she said. ‘Parisa’s gone now, so if it’s not me and it’s not you, then it has to be her.’
