‘What’s that?’
‘Making things gofast.’
Then there wasn’t any talking for a while. Although Dylan did have to jam a pillow into her mouth in case the PA down the hall took his headphones off.
It was perfect, being in bed with her. There was no other word to describe it. The situation definitely wasn’t perfect, the sex wasn’t always perfect (although don’t get me wrong, it wasverygood), but being there, with her, in bed: that was perfect.
‘I really don’t want to go on this date tomorrow,’ Dylan said softly, stroking my hair.
It was perfect, except when I remembered it couldn’t last.
‘I don’t want you to go either,’ I said.
She sighed. ‘They’re making me introduce Noah to him.’
‘Wow.’
‘I know it’s only by Zoom, and a million of my cousins will be on the call too, so it’s not like there won’t be a buffer, but still.’
‘Big step.’
‘Big step,’ she said, her fingers tangling in my hair and tugging a little too hard as she involuntarily tensed up. ‘Too big.’
‘Are you worried that Noah will get attached to him?’I asked, gently pulling my hair out of her hand and propping myself up on my elbow so I could look at her.
‘Notthatworried,’ she said. ‘I’ve introduced Noah to people I’ve dated before, and it’s been fine. Plus, it’s only one Zoom call, there’s a limited amount of damage it can do. Most of it will probably be Noah dealing with the fact that his name is Dylan too – “Wow, Mummy, he has the same name as you!”’
I laughed.
‘It’s not Noah I’m worried about,’ she said. ‘It’s me. Introducing him to my kid is just one more step towards it being real.’
I pictured the three of them together. They would be exactly the picture Murray wanted so badly to paint – the fairy-tale family. They would be perfect, and it made my heart ache.
‘But this is what’s real,’ she whispered. ‘You and me, Mandie.’
I kissed her again, so I didn’t have to reply.
‘Are you worried about your Friends and Family Date?’ she asked, when we finally broke apart.
‘Honestly,’ I said, ‘I haven’t thought about it that much.’
There are a number of very obvious issues with the classic Mandie ‘Thinking about something before I do it? Never heard of it’ approach to problem-solving. For example: problems don’t work like trees falling in woods where no one can hear them. There comes a point where ignoring them just means the tree lands on your head.
‘Hi Mandie!’ Mum said, waving brightly to me on the Zoom screen.
‘Hi Mum,’ I said, trying to keep my voice steady and happy and bright. ‘This is Dylan.’
‘It’s lovely to meet you, Mrs Mitchell,’ Romeo-Dylan said, putting his arm around me. ‘I’ve had the most wonderful time getting to know your daughter.’
He kissed my cheek. Mum beamed. Sitting next to my secret girlfriend’s soon-to-be fake boyfriend, I felt like the worst lying piece of garbage on the face of the planet.
Mum and Romeo-Dylan got on like a house on fire, which just made me feel worse and worse. ‘I was very worried about Mandie coming on this show,’ Mum said. ‘Her ex Jac really knocked her around emotionally.’
‘I know,’ Romeo-Dylan said. ‘Amanda’s told me.’
‘I was worried that this was just another thing she was doing while she was sitting around waiting for Jac to come back,’ Mum said. ‘She can be whimsical, my Mandie.’
‘Mum,’ I said, ‘we don’t need to talk about this.’
