Charm’s mouth tightened.
“You think I don’t see you pretending he’s only fun while looking at him like he’s the worst idea you have ever wanted to make?”
Her mouth snapped shut.
“I am not judging you for wanting him,” I said. “I’m telling you not to stand in front of me and pretend you don’t understand what it looks like when a woman tries to keep a man in the category where he can’t hurt her.”
Charm didn’t answer.
I looked at Bliss next, and that hurt worse. “And you. I love you more than my own pride, B, but do not ask me to carry your peace too. Do not ask me to make this easier because the divide makes your life complicated.”
Her tears kept coming.
“I had your back when your whole world was a mess. I never once demanded that your trauma stay silent so everyone else could sit around the same table without choking.”
Bliss’s face folded. “I know.”
“Then give me the same loyalty.”
The room went quiet except for my wrecked breathing and Bliss crying into her sleeve. Charm stood near the foot of my bed with her arms wrapped around herself, all that polish cracked enough for the scared girl underneath to show.
For one second, I hated that I had hurt them.
Then I hated that hating it made me want to apologize before I was done being angry.
I turned back toward the bag and shoved my charger into the side pocket.
Bliss came closer, careful now. “Please don’t leave like this.”
“I’m not leaving forever.” I zipped the bag with trembling hands and slung the strap over my shoulder.
Charm’s eyes filled again. “We are sorry.”
“I believe you.”
“Then stay.”
“I believe you’re sorry,” I said, looking between them. “I don’t believe either of you understands yet that sorry doesn’t fix the fact that tonight, when the room got ugly, I looked around for my girls and felt alone.”
Bliss made a broken sound.
I softened for half a second because I loved her. I loved them both so much it was disgusting, inconvenient, and currently ruining the clean exit I was trying very hard to make.
But love did not mean remaining in a room where I had to beg to be defended.
“I’m going to my parents’,” I said. “I’ll text when I get there. Do not call my mother if I don’t answer. Do not send anyone after me, especially one of the boys, unless you want me to commit a felony with witnesses.”
Charm let out the smallest, wettest laugh, and it died almost immediately.
Bliss stepped aside when I reached the doorway, but she caught my wrist before I could pass. Her fingers were gentle, which somehow made it worse.
“You are not alone,” she whispered.
I looked down at her hand on me, then raised my eyes to her face.
“I was tonight.”
She let go like the words burned.
