Neither brother spoke for several moments.
Victor rubbed a hand over his face. “Afterward, I could not bear another carriage.”
Lionel nodded slowly. “That is why you always ride horseback.”
Victor gave a sharp, humourless smile. “Rather obvious now, I suppose.”
“You were a child,” Lionel said quietly.
Victor ignored him and continued. “I realized then how easily everything can vanish.” His gaze drifted toward the gardens. “So I stopped allowing people close enough to matter.”
Lionel frowned deeply. “Victor, that is not the way.”
“I can not survive that grief again,” Victor admitted. “Not with my wife.” His jaw tightened. “Not with children.”
Lionel looked genuinely stricken now. “You truly believe their deaths were your fault.”
“Were they not?”
Lionel immediately shook his head hard. “No.”
“I asked them to go,” Victor snapped.
“You were a child,” Lionel said again. “Children ask for things every day.”
Victor looked away. “It changes nothing.”
“Yes, it does,” Lionel argued. “You did not overturn that carriage.”
Victor’s expression hardened stubbornly. “Had I not insisted, ”
“Then perhaps something else terrible would have happened another day,” Lionel interrupted sharply.
Victor fell silent. Lionel leaned closer now, his voice unusually earnest. “You cannot spend your entire life punishing yourself for surviving.”
Victor looked down at his clasped hands. Years and years of guilt sat there between them like a third presence. He had built his entire existence around avoiding pain before it could strike again. Yet somehow Charlotte had made him begin wanting impossible things despite himself.
Lionel sighed heavily beside him. “Do you know what truly angers me?” Victor glanced sideways cautiously. Lionel gave him a tired look. “That you keep using me as your excuse to remain miserable.”
Victor frowned. “What?”
“You speak as though your entire life must be sacrificed for mine,” Lionel said firmly. “As though I require your guilt to survive.” Victor opened his mouth, but Lionel continued. “I do not want your title born from misery, Victor.”
Victor stared at him silently.
“I want my brother,” Lionel admitted quietly. “I have wanted him for years.” Something painfully unfamiliar tightened inVictor’s chest. “You shut everyone out after the accident.” Lionel gave a sad laugh. “Including me.”
Victor looked away again. “I did not know how to return.”
Lionel nodded slowly. “Then start now,” Victor said nothing. “Grandmother loves you. Charlotte loves you.” Lionel’s expression softened further. “And despite everything, I still love you too, you stubborn bastard.”
Victor barked out a startled laugh despite himself. Lionel grinned faintly. “There he is again.”
Victor shook his head tiredly. “You are insufferable.”
Lionel leaned back against the bench comfortably. “Runs in the family.”
For the first time in years, sitting beside his brother did not feel strained or distant. It felt strangely easy. Victor found himself wondering how many things he had lost by refusing to let anyone close after all these years.
