The single word is deep, almost a warning, but I don’t stop to think. I just pull myself free, shrugging out of the robe so quickly that it slips off my shoulders and leaves Soren holding nothing but empty fabric. I’m left in my long-sleeved pyjamas, feeling even smaller and more exposed as I walk straight out of the dining hall without looking back at anyone.
My bare feet carry me fast down the staff hallway, heart hammering so loudly I can hear it in my ears. I don’t stop until I reach my bedroom door. I slip inside, close it behind me, and immediately drag the small desk chair over, bracing it firmly under the handle. The click of the lock and the added barrier feel like the only safety I have left today.
It’s too much, everything is too much.
I don’t feel in control of myself anymore. I don’t know how to just exist here without constantly guessing what the right move is, what will keep me safe, what will make him look at me without that terrifying intensity. The rules keep shifting and I can’t keep up.
I sink down onto the edge of my bed, pull my knees up to my chest, and wrap my arms around them tightly. Hot tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I blink them back hard. I just want to go home. I want to go back to my parents’ house, to my old room with thetextbooks and the quiet evenings, to a life where no one shouted my full name like a command and no one pressed a gun under my chin before deciding to keep me. But I can never go home again. They’re gone, and this place… this beautiful, terrifying estate with its gardens and its armed men and its king who keeps me like a pet… is all I have now.
I press my face into my knees and stay here, curled small and shaking, listening for any sound of footsteps in the hallway outside my door.
Chapter Four
~ Need An Outlet ~
Soren
My fist clenches tightly around Kit’s abandoned robe, the fabric still warm from his body. I lick my teeth, jaw tight, then force my fingers to open and drop the robe onto the chair he was just sitting in. It lands in a pathetic little heap, mocking me.
I inhale sharply through my nose and drag both hands down my face, rubbing hard at my eyes.Fuck. I tried; I was only trying to make sure he was eating enough. The last thing I expected was for him to actually shout at me in front of everyone. Part of me is still stunned by it. Another part, darker and hotter, had been a split second away from dragging him out of this room by the back of his neck and finishing exactly what we started last night. I don’t know if I’m pissed off or turned on; probably both. I stayed calm, and hestillran.
The way he put his fork down, picked it back up, and put it down again… like he was desperately trying to guess whatever version of himself would please me most… it twisted something ugly in my chest. He’s still so fucking scared of me that even basic choices feel like landmines.
When I finally look up, the entire table has gone dead quiet. Every single one of them is staring, pretending they’re not, but I can feel the weight of their nosy-as-fuck opinions pressing in from all sides. They all have thoughts about Kit.
“Do you all plan on staring at me all day?” My voice cuts through the room like a blade. “You’ve got shit to do. Get to it.”
Chairs scrape back instantly, no one lingers. They know that tone leaves zero room for defiance or gossip.
I point at the ones I want. “Armen. Ray. Selina.Sit.”
They share a quick look but obey without argument, sliding back into their seats.
Once the door clicks shut behind the last person, I turn my gaze on Armen first. “Where did you find him?”
Armen swallows visibly. “He was in the little garden Lorraine looks after. Sitting on the bench.”
“Did he say anything?”
Armen shakes his head. “He, uh… didn’t want to talk to me. Said you wouldn’t like it.”
My jaw clenches so hard I feel the muscle jump. I shift my eyes to Selina.
She offers a cautious smile; hands folded neatly on the table. “Boss, I don’t even know why I’m here… YouknowI’ve tried to be friends with him before. You don’t let me talk to him.”
I exhale through my nose. “Alright. You two get out.”
“Yes, boss,” they both mutter, nodding quickly before pushing their chairs back and leaving the room without another word.
Only Ray remains at my left, my closest right-hand man, the nearest thing I have to a friend in this life.
He clears his throat. “Soren… do you want my advice?”
I let out a short, bitter laugh. “No, not really, Ray.”
He nods and wisely shuts his mouth.
After a moment, I roll my eyes and mutter, “For fuck’s sake… give it to me then…”
