'Did Andy ever once, in six years, let it go?'
'Nope!'
'That's the whole difference, right there, in one word. Yeah, what he did was a bit posh-boy, but he needstelling. The man doesn't know the Andy thing. He offered his girlfriend help with her business and got three cheerful lies and a cancelled dinner. He’s probably wondering what he did. You know exactly how that feels.'
Tilly wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand. 'What if I tell him about Andy and he looks at me differently? I’m ashamed of it.'
'Then he's not the one, and better to know, but he carried you out of a mudflat and texts you as the dog. He'll cope.' Jasmine cackled.
'Right, verdict. The committee rules as follows. One: you don't text him tonight. Two: tomorrow, you go to him, in person, and you tell him the truth. You're not running or doing an exit plan. You've got a new start, linen to sell and a lovely man there. Seconded?'
'Seconded,' Pia agreed.
'Wow, I feel so much better. I got myself in a right state about that.' Tilly looked at her two oldest friends and sighed.
'So, you’re okay? We’ve talked you down off that perilous ledge you were on?' Pia asked.
'You have.'
'Right, well, I am going to love you and leave you.' Pia nodded.
'Yep, me too.'
'Thank you. What would we do without The Properlies?' Tilly chuckled.
'None of us would survive.'
59
Considering what had gone on the day before, Tilly had actually slept fairly well. It was because The Properlies had done what they did best and put in their two pennyworths regarding her predicament. Now she was on her way to Otto’s house to reveal the truth. Da da da. She’d already texted him to say she was walking over, and he’d replied that he’d get the kettle on. The walk along the harbour road took fifteen minutes and about six years. The tide was out, the Carrington beds stood in rows on gleaming mud, and somewhere out on the flats two of Otto's pickers moved slowly along the trestles. Tilly rehearsed openings all the way and hated every one of them. Then she was at the gate, Stanley was barking, and it was time to come clean.
Otto, in his work things opened the door before she knocked. 'Hi.'
'Hi. I wasn't shattered last night.' Tilly blurted out at once.
Otto leaned against the door frame and rolled his eyes. 'I know.'
'There's a thing I should have told you a long time ago, and it isn't very nice.'
Otto stood back without a word, and Stanley escorted them down the hall to the kitchen. The room was exactly as it alwayswas, with Niamh laughing in her green coat on the windowsill. Tilly cut straight to the chase. 'I lied to you about being tired yesterday, so before anything else, sorry about that. You didn't deserve the freeze. You'd done nothing wrong.' Tilly pulled out a chair.
Otto sat down opposite. 'Okay, go on.'
Tilly looked at her hands, and then, because there was no good place to start, began to ramble. 'Before Lennixx, the musician, the one who cheated, that story you've half heard, before him, as you know, I was married to Andy and for the first year, he was wonderful. That's the bit people never understand, so I need you to hear the story. He was kind, generous, and he sorted things. My insurance, my flat, my hours at work. He made my whole life easier, one thing at a time, and it felt like being looked after, and by the time I understood what it actually was, there wasn't much of my life he didn't hold.'
'Oh.'
Tilly heard herself telling him the horrid lot of it. The wardrobe gone through item by item, how her diet had been controlled, the money moved into accounts she couldn't see. The little disc in her handbag, and evenings he'd meet her at the door, already knowing where she'd been. The mileage on her car noted, fuel monitored and questions asked. Her own self folded away smaller and smaller until she’d had an exit plan hidden on her work computer. Otto didn't say a word or do anything the whole way through except blink as if astonished at the words being said.
'I got out eventually via an exit plan, solicitors and Jasmine and Pia. Mum doesn’t know the full story. So, yeah, after all that, I promised myself no one would ever control me again. That's what Darling was supposed to be, you see? Just me. Then yesterday you reached for your phone and said you'd fix it with one call and money if I needed it, and inside, I flipped out.Apush from someone who knows what they're doingdidn’t land with me too well.'
Otto visibly flinched. 'I’m sorry. I didn’t. I was trying to…’
‘I know you meant it kindly. I smiled, and said everything was fine, and started looking for the door.'
'God, that’s awful what happened to you.'
Tilly shook her head. 'I’m fine now, well, usually I am.'
