Great, one of those calls.
“Let’s start with your location number.”
“Oh.” He gives me his number, and I log into his computer. Am I supposed to log into his personal work computer on standard tech support calls? Technically, no, but do I give a fuck? Also no. It gets to the root of the problem so much quicker. Like this guy is online shopping during work.
“Tell me what’s the issue?”
“Well, it’s just that my… Um.”
“Get to the point… please,” I tack on.
“My IX program is lagging, and I can’t open any files.”
“Did you try closing out some files?”
“Yeah, there’s nothing else open in IX.”
Idiots.
“Close down IX completely and then close down any other programs your computer might be running.” Part of the productivity plan will have our operating system slow to a crawl if you have unauthorized apps or websites open. The monthly tech support memo reminds everyone of this, but obviously no one reads them.
“Oh, I don’t have anything?—”
“Yes, you do. Now close them down and let me know if that fixes the issue.”
“Okay, but I don’t have any…”
Tired of his lies, I bring one of his websites up to the front. A jewelry website. Must be looking for gifts. Then I bring up the one with online poker, and finally the biggest time waster of them all, YouTube.
He just mumbles in the background while I close all of his pages and reopen IX before I slap the tech support memo on his screen.
“Have a nice day.” I hang up and call my direct supervisor, Minjun.
He answers with a sigh. “No, I am not going to fire everyone for being stupid.”
“You should. But then there would be no one left, so I get why you can’t.”
“Leo, I’m sorry that you have to work the help desk, but?—”
“It’s fine. As long as you don’t mind paying me stupid money to do a job a monkey could do and me being snippy with the callers.”
Minjun sighs again. “I’m glad you called.”
Fuck.
“Oh, I got to go. My phone is ringing.”
“Leo,” he warns. “I would have called you soon.”
“Ugh, fine,” I whine like a teenager. “Where am I going?”
“East coast home office.”
That’s the worst.
“I need a driver.”
“I know,” Minjun says.
