It wasn’t easy because raw fury was coursing through my body so hard and fast that it was difficult to do anything.
I closed my eyes from the excruciating pain in my chest, a pain that felt like somebody had plunged a dagger into my heart and twisted it about a hundred times.
Scenes of Sierra in trouble and in pain were clouding my vision.
I was damn glad the bastard was dead.
If he was still alive, I would have wanted to find a way to remove the asshole from the face of the earth.
Fucking hell!
What kind of monster could do what he’d done to Sierra?
What kind of monster could kill his unborn child and his wife?
In my mind,nothingcould ever justify touching a woman or a child in anger.
“He wasn’t always as sick as he was during that last year of our marriage,” Sierra said in a sad voice. “He was always a mean narcissist, but he started flirting with insanity that final year. I think me getting pregnant tipped him over the edge. He feltlike he was losing control. He didn’t want anything to take my attention, especially not a child. The pregnancy was an accident on my part. He beat me so badly once that I couldn’t get out of bed for a few days. I missed my pills, but Jordan didn’t let me refuse sex when he wanted it.”
Fuck!The bastard had raped his wife, too?
She’d had a very good reason why she’d asked to never be restrained.
She’d probably had enough of that shit during her marriage.
No wonder she was so inexperienced with sexual pleasure.
If that asshole had been the only man in her history, it definitely made sense to me now.
My gut rolled from all that Sierra had been through, but Icouldn’tlose it right now.
She needed me more than I needed to lose my shit, and she was my priority.
The situation that had brought on her PTSD was so much worse than I’d imagined.
Probably the worst thing that I could possibly imagine happening to a woman.
Sierra was so damn strong.
I was going to have to keep remembering that she’d gotten through it because I’d lose my mind if I didn’t.
She was okay.
She was alive.
She was healthy now.
Get a grip and take care of your woman, Remington.
“I’m sorry, Sierra,” I said hoarsely. “I’m so fucking sorry you had to go through all that. I’m sorry you lost your baby boy, and I’m sorry for every damn time he hurt you.” I hesitated before I asked, “How did you manage to live through it physically if he shot you twice?”
“We lived in Houston,” she explained. “The neighbors heard the gunshots. If they hadn’t called the police, I would have bled to death pretty quickly. He missed my heart, but the wounds were serious. I lost my child. He was buried before I regained consciousness. My mom took care of it because I was in a medically induced coma for a few weeks.” She hesitated for a few moments before she said, “I’m sure you’re wondering how I could be gaslighted into staying for so long.”
Nope. I wasn’t wondering about that at all.
“I’m not,” I said firmly. “I completely understand gaslighting and how it alters your head. My father was a master at it. It doesn’t matter how smart or rational you are. Years of brainwashing can change the way you think, Sierra. It never stopped for me until he was dead, and as irrational as it may seem, I took the blame for a lot of things because of that damn gaslighting for so many years. So no, I don’t have to imagine what it’s like to have someone mindfuck you. None of it was your fault. You must know that now.”
“I do,” she said with a sigh. “But I still have some knee-jerk insecurities at times before I can catch and correct them. I probably always will. My mom thinks I need to finish healing my soul. Maybe she’s right, but I have moved on with my life. For the most part, I’ve left it in the past.”
