Dad nods slowly.
“It feels like I’m giving up,” I say.
“Or are you just deciding what’s for you? Because sometimes that’s part of growing up. Not everyone knows exactly what they want to do the second they graduate high school. For most of us, it’s a mix of trial and error. And now you’ve found what you truly enjoy. Honestly, I’m really proud of you for going out thereand trying something different. It shows grit. And now you know what you truly enjoy.”
“It feels like making that switch would be a step toward real happiness.”
Dad looks at me from the corner of his eye. “What else do you want?”
This is the one dream I’ve been too scared to even say to myself. “I want to spend the rest of my life being happy with Lucy.”
Dad smiles slowly at that. “Well, you’re well on your way to that. I like her a lot.”
Too bad she doesn’t know that’s how I feel.
“Why does camping make you so tired?” Lucy asks me as I climb into the car.
Alexander sits in the back seat, his head hanging between us. I barely dodge a slobbery kiss and reach up to pat his head.
“Alexander,” Lucy scolds him. “What have we said about kissing with tongue?”
I lean around Alexander to look at her. “I don’t know what was said about kissing with tongue.”
Lucy blushes, and I have to fight a smile.
Let’s just say that I’ve realized I want to have more conversations with Lucy about kissing. I want to tell her what she means to me. But how do I approach that with a wife who’s in it for the money? How do I tell her that everything I promised her was a lie and that I said we would keep our emotional distance, but I had the audacity to fall in love with her? How do I explain that?
I try to formulate the words in my mind, but then Lucy closes her eyes and leans her head back against the headrest.
“Alexander, sit down, please,” she breathes.
Alexander obeys right away and lies down in the back seat, stretching all the way across.
The first hour home, she naps, and I’m pretty sure Alexander is snoring. When she finally wakes up, she looks disoriented, glancing around as if she doesn’t remember where she is. Her eyes land on Alexander, and she settles back in her seat again.
“Is it weird that I love your family?” she asks.
Loaded question. And I’m not quite sure how she wants me to answer it, so I start with the truth.
“They love you too. Mom and Dad were so excited to meet you.”
She looks at me with big eyes. “Both your sisters are great, and your parents are fantastic. Obviously, I love Goldie. Felix is special. And pretty much everyone—except Preston and his parents,” she adds with a grin.
“It’s okay. It’s very easy to dislike Preston,” I say with a laugh.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I really enjoyed this camping trip. I know we’re playing pretend, but I appreciate you letting me spend time with your family and get to know them a little. And I’ve been thinking about what we should do when we inevitably end this, and I think it would be best if you blame me when we get divorced. You can say whatever you want. Tell them I ran away to a European country. I don’t know…something unexpected, I guess. I don’t want to damage your relationship with your family, because that’s too precious.”
I almost drive off the road.
I was so busy staring at her because I hadn’t even realized how good I had it. I’ve been so spoiled in the family department that it didn’t even cross my mind that something like this couldhurt my relationship with them. I don’t think it even crossed Ainsley’s mind when we were hatching the plan.
But Lucy? She’s had to deal with a splintered family for most of her life.
“We’ll give it some thought,” I say. “Maybe you’ll get hired to be the head veterinarian on an animal rescue somewhere in Australia.”
Lucy laughs at that. “I’ve always wanted to go to Australia.”
It hurts to think of her not being in my life.
