As I leave my room, Aeron is in the hallway, coming from the kitchen. He’s wearing a new black hoodie. I know it’s newbecause there are no holes in it and the fabric looks strong. It’s so oversized it eats his frame. With the hood up, shadows cover his face.
“Hey,” I say. “How have?—”
“No,” he bites out. He moves to pass me.
I step sideways to block him. I’ve watched my brother disappear for weeks. He doesn’t come to meals. He’s skipping tons of classes. Every time I knock on his door I get silence or a single syllable. And he was checked out during the food truck hangout.
Mom said he’s going through a phase and to give him some space. But this is the one time I don’t agree with her. Aeron’s going to flunk, and I won’t sit back and watch him throw away a semester.
Also, I’m worried. This doesn’t feel like a “phase.” It’s like he’s deeply hurt, and I don’t know why.
“Talk to me,” I say.
“About what?” His voice is so firm and forceful. He’s looking past me to his bedroom door.
“About anything. Are you okay? You’ve been locked in your room?—”
“I’m busy.”
“With what?”
His eyes land on me through the hoodie’s shadows and the look he gives makes my heart lurch. The ocean-teal has drained to grey and there’s so much hate in that look. I know I yelled at him for the pot, but do I deserve so much hate for just being worried?
“Busy with mylife,” he says. “Which doesn’t need your supervision.”
“I’m not… I just want to know how you are.”
“You’re blocking the hallway.”
He’s right. My body has shifted fully into his path and I’m standing with my feet planted, with one arm on the wall so there’s no way around me. I can’t let him escape again without talking.
“Come eat dinner with us tonight,” I say. I have plans with Cinna but she’ll understand if I cancel for family reasons. “Come on. Real dinner at the table. Mom can make the chicken casserole you like. Or I’ll get takeout from?—”
“No.”
“Aeron.”
“I saidno.”
“You can’t keep hiding in your room like this. It’s been weeks…”
He pulls his hoodie down to snarl at me. I’m so shocked by how hollow his cheeks are that I’m speechless. I’ve seen him take food to his room like normal, but it’s as if he’s lost weight somehow. And the bags under his eyes are so thick I wonder if he’s slept at all this week.
“Maybe I’m hiding because every time I come out,” he growls, “someoneis standing there telling me how to exist.” His voice drops instead of rising, scraped clean of all emotion. “You don’t check on me because you care, big sis. You check on me so you can feel like a good sister. Everything you do is self-centered.”
My palm presses harder against the wall to balance me. Am… am I? I do care about him… but I know I can be controlling. I just worry about him making mistakes, so what am I supposed to do?
“That’s not fair,” I say.
“It’s true. You notice I’m alive when it’s convenient. The rest of the time I’m an item on your to-do list. Did I check on Aeron today, yes or no, and then you move on with your life.”
“T-that’s not?—”
“You treat me like a responsibility.” His upper lip pulls back and his whole body is tilted forward. “Not a person. All you care about anymore is your stupid boyfriend.”
I drop my gaze. “How did you?—”
He laughs a dark laugh. “You two think you’re hiding anything? It’s obvious to everyone that you’re fucking.”
