It wasn’t my house, where my bed was gon’ be whisperin’ bad decisions.
Wasn’t his, where Mo looked down on everything like a quiet ghost.
Wasn’t the club, where somebody could interrupt us every ten seconds.
Neutral…Safe. Plus… if this was gon’ be somethin’ real, I wanted the woman who raised him to see me for herself.
Me: Aight. Nana’s backyard. Tomorrow. 6pm.
Roman: Bet. I’ll let her know we comin’.
My stomach flipped harder.
On the drive home, my brain would not shut up.
You can still back out.
You can still keep it “fun.”
You can still walk away before he get close enough to really hurt you.
Then I thought about Fee cryin’ on my couch, scared and still showin’ up.
Thought about Charlee holdin’ her barely-there belly, loud and terrified and still lettin’ herself be excited.
Thought about April sittin’ at Nana’s table talkin’ about bein’ scared and marryin’ Royce anyway.
Everybody around me was scared.
They just wasn’t lettin’ fear make all they choices.
Maybe it was time I stopped lettin’ mine do the same.
The next day, I damn near changed outfits three times.
I ain’t wanna look like I tried too hard. But I also wasn’t about to show up lookin’ like I ain’t care.
I ended up in some high-waisted jeans, a simple bodysuit, and my favorite hoops. Light beat, hair fallin’ right.
When I checked myself in the mirror, I looked… like me.
That’s all I had.
When I pulled up to Nana’s, the sun was slidin’ down but it was still light out. Her yard was quiet, little flowers all over, that old swing movin’ a little in the breeze.
Nana stayed in that same cozy little house with the porch that always smelled like food and fabric softener. I swear just bein’ near it made my nerves ease up a notch.
My phone buzzed as soon as I parked.
Roman: She said “y’all better not break my chairs.” That’s her way of sayin’ welcome
I smiled in spite of myself.
Nana opened the door before I could knock, like she’d been standin’ right there.
“There she go,” she said, eyes twinklin’. “Miss Melissa. Come here and gimme a hug.”
I stepped up, lettin’ her pull me in. She smelled like lotion and cookin’ oil and somethin’ floral.
