Then again, I gave up on things I loved too.
‘I gave up art because it hurts too much,’ I admit.
I expect Ryker to say something, but he looks at me, waiting.
‘I haven’t touched a canvas since we lost him,’ I go on after a shaky breath. ‘But cars are different. After the accident, I looked at the Mustang sitting in the driveway every day. I wanted to feel a piece of him was still with me. I started to race because it’s cathartic. I finally understood why Jace did it. I wanted him to keep winning. I wanted us to win. He would want that. He’d love that … but Jace wouldn’t have wanted me to forget the things I love. And he would’ve wanted you to love life, too.’
Ryker pinches the bridge of his nose. ‘What do you want me to do?’
‘Does it matter?’
‘Gianna,’ he speaks slowly, gripping my shoulders. ‘You’re everything. Don’t you get that?’
Maybe it’s the look in his eyes, or the conviction in his tone. Maybe it’s the lethal cocktail of both. But I know Ryker means what he says.
I hate Erik. My heart aches when I think about what he’s stolen from me. But my heart breaks when I think about how much more he could steal.
I take a deep breath, reaching up on the tips of my toes to brush my lips against Ryker’s.
‘I don’t want us to waste another four years,’ I whisper.
He cradles my face in his palms, resting his forehead on mine. Softening. His resigned breath fans across my face. ‘Then we won’t. For the first time in a long time, my future’s looking better than chasing the past. I choose you, Gianna. I’ll always choose you. In this lifetime and the next. Every day.’
‘Every day?’ I ask.
‘Every day,’ he assures, leaning in to trail kisses over my cheek and down my neck. ‘Wear black tonight.’
My entire wardrobe lately is black, and still I ask, ‘Why?’
‘I have a date idea, but it’s a surprise.’
‘You want to take me on a date?’
‘Hell yeah, I do. Oh, and it’s kind of illegal. Do you still have that purple rock?’
* * *
I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
Outside the gates of the creative arts wing of Booker Bay University, Ryker laces his fingers together and stands in a way that shows me he’s just as insane as he looks.
‘You want me to do what?’ I ask.
‘Step here.’ He gestures to his hands. ‘I’ll hike you up.’
I estimate the height of the new fence. It’s at least two feet taller than Ryker, which means it’s three and … whatever feet taller than me.
I laugh, disbelief dripping from my tone. ‘There’s not a chance, Ryker. What are we even doing here?’
‘C’mon, Little Suspect,’ he croons. ‘Don’t ruin the surprise.’
‘Is this seriously your idea of a date? Hiking me over the tall-ass fence of our old college?’
His shoulders slump, he releases his fingers and straightens from his crouching position. ‘Oh.’ He arches a brow. ‘I’m sorry. Should I be taking you to a basic-ass dinner instead? I can even buy you some pissy flowers while I’m at it. Then I’ll take you home and fuck you in missionary until you fake an orgasm and fall asleep?’
Whoa.
‘Don’t tell me what you want, Little Suspect.’ He shakes his head, resuming his position. ‘I know what you like.’
