I feel sick. Erik. A mystery person in a trench coat. Trying to open a business. It’s all too much. ‘What are you even gonna do when you get him—’
The staff door swings open with a crash. Our heads all whip toward an exhausted Tyler.
‘Erik’s fucked off,’ Tyler says, not bothering to look at any of us.
‘Where?’ Ryker growls.
‘Just gone.’ Tyler shrugs and doesn’t say another word as he drops onto the office couch next to Chuckie, giving him a gentle pat. Then Tyler spins his blue cap backward and leans back, closing his eyes. His lips move inaudibly. I can’t be certain, but it looks like he’s counting.
I walk over, and his eyes flutter open. He shifts on the couch to make room.
‘You okay, Ty?’
He nods curtly, looking uncomfortable. He always seems so calm, but his hands are shaking. I wonder how much more he can bottle up before he explodes.
‘Do you want to talk about anything?’
He looks up, and I recognise the same haunted look Ryker sometimes has.
‘No,’ he says softly. ‘I’m good, Gia. I’m just … tired. Y’know?’
‘Can’t Deputy Dellenty handle this?’ Monique asks everyone.
‘Dellenty’s a pussy,’ Renny pipes up. ‘Besides, Erik’s putting his money in all the pigs’ pockets.’
‘Then let’s leave Erik alone,’ I say, causing a deathly silence. ‘He won’t come back. He knows he’d be screwed if he came back while you three are back together and after him. But that’s not the important thing here. You’ve all wasted four years looking for him. Don’t you think that’s enough? Jace wouldn’t want this.’ I pause, looking at each of their faces. ‘This has all been for him, right? But he wouldn’t have wanted this.’
Renny, Ryker and Tyler exchange looks with each other before studying me, and I can only hope they are reading between the lines I’m laying out. There’s already been so much pain. So much time lost. We’ve all been doing things to bring Jace some sort of vengeance or peace. But the truth is, none of this would have made him happy.
He’d want Ryker to be loving life with his motorbikes and playing in the national league.
He’d want Renny to run the most successful garage in town.
He’d have wanted Tyler to pursue the hockey career he was gunning for since he first put on a pair of skates.
And he’d have wanted me to keep painting. I’ve been living in the memory, or maybe even the shadows, of what Jace and Pa would be doing if they were here. I haven’t been able to find myself and explore what I love. Because how do you find yourself when everyone who loved you has left?
‘We all need to start living for ourselves again,’ I say under my breath.
‘Well …’ Renny sighs, shifting on his feet. ‘What now, then?’
‘What do you mean, “what now, then?”’ Ryker snaps. ‘Nothing changes. We fucking find him.’
He belts a ratchet into the toolbox and stalks out to the front of the garage. We sit in the heaviness of the silence for a beat. Then I realise all remaining eyes are on me.
I scoff and stand up. ‘Oh. Well, don’t everyone rush after him at once.’
Pacing a hole in the driveway, Ryker runs a hand through his hair. Smears of grease line his corded forearms, mixing with his ink. Each breath leaves puffs of condensation in the frigid air.
‘Ryker?’ I come up behind him and reach for his shoulder. ‘This isn’t right.’
He turns, nostrils flaring as he shakes his head.
‘Four years, Gianna,’ he rasps out through gritted teeth. ‘I’ve spent four years looking for him. Seeing him at the carnival was my chance. It’s either we get him or he’ll get us. This is the closest we’ve ever got to him since that night. If I can—’
‘Do you really want to make it five years? Or eight? Maybe make it ten? That choice is on you, Ryker.’
My heart aches that he’s wasted time like this, so fixed on revenge that he’s forgotten about everything else in life.
