What they’re doingis technicallyoff-limits, but it’s also almost to be expected. Friggin’ Ariana and Dani spent sixteen k during their one-night stay here, which Blake isfairlysure translates out to mean “mutual tongue stuff”.
Anyway, he’s long past caring about money. He and Pax have done the work. They’ve shared, they’ve bonded, they’ve grown as people. In Blake’s opinion, they’ve earned the opportunity to get physical, to see if they’re compatible and to grow their physical bond, too.
He says so out loud.
“I agree,” Paxton tells him, when Blake’s finished more or less pleading his case. The tub is nearly full around them by this point, and Blake slides off of Paxton’s thighs to curl up at his side. They don’t have nearly as much room here as they did in the outdoor Jacuzzi, but Blake’s enjoying the peace and solitude of the private space much more. He aimlessly tips a bath bomb out from a basket on the ledge, letting it splash into the water just above their knees. They both watch it fizz and turn the water a foamy peachy color. Smells like peach, too.
“We should have sex,” Paxton suggests casually.
“Yeah? You think so?”
“I do.”
“Well, we’re on the same page, then.” Blake’s quiet for a moment, and then anxiously adds, “Should we — ?” In response, Paxton laughs, low and dark, before reaching out to grab a loofah and some body wash from the same ledge as the bath bombs. He lathers up the loofah before hooking an arm around Blake’s ribs and hauling him over into his lap, this time back-to-chest.
“Whoa, hey!” Blake flounders, splashing water everywhere and sloshing a good amount onto the floor as he copes with being manhandled.
Notthat he dislikes it or anything, which Paxton seems to know, smiling into the skin of his neck before pressing several reassuring kisses there. “Just relax,” he says, encouraging Blake to rest his head back on his shoulder and stop fussing. Pax’s legs bracket Blake’s hips, squeezing slightly in a way thatcan’tbe anything but a promise.
When Blake does chill out and settle down, Paxton rewards him by using the loofah to soap him up. He runs the scratchy sponge all over Blake’s arms, across his chest and stomach, and as far down each leg as he can reach. He cleans around his groin perfunctorily, and resists Blake’s wiggling attempts to make him take things further.
He pushes Blake forward a little and scrubs his back thoroughly while Blake hugs his own legs, even venturing downinto his crack, the tease. Pax even pauses to knead Blake’s shoulders for a bit, and then works on the knot he always has jacking up the base of his spine.
“Do you do this with all your orgy partners?” Blake mumbles softly from where his head is resting on his knees, his eyelids heavy from the pure bliss of being touched with such unassuming care and affection.
“No,” Paxton denies firmly, though his tone carries a note of amusement. “Just those I know I’d like to have in my bed again.”
“Aww, Pax, you flirtin’ with me? You should know, I’m not that kind of girl.”
“Which kind?” Pax replies quietly, his lips skating lightly over several vertebrae in Blake’s back. “The kind that comes back?”
Suddenly wide awake, Blake leans back, tipping his head up and forcing Paxton to readjust how he’s sitting so that he can look into his eyes. It’s a bit of an awkward angle, but the water lets Blake slide to the side and be buoyed a little more easily. “I wasn’t,” he answers seriously. “Before all this, I didn’t know how to be better than that. Didn’t see a reason to.”
“And now?”
God,this conversation would be so cheesy, so ridiculous if he were having it withanyoneelse. This kind of shit belongs on reruns of badly scripted hospital soaps, not in Blake’s very reallife. But the reality is, there’s not a damn thing about Pax that’s insincere. He’s not asking because he’s trying to create some kind of desperate, romantic moment or because he’s hoping the clip will go viral and make him internet famous.
No, Blake’s pretty friggin’ sure Pax just wants to know if this is real. And Blake would be lying if he said he didn’t have the same damn question, so answering it isn’t hard at all.
“Can’t wait to come back to you, Pax,” he says simply, wet limbs slipping against Pax’s equally slick skin as Blake gropes for something that his nervous hands can hold onto. “Not to scare you or anything, and not that I’m not looking forward to getting you into bed, but you did ask, so… Here’s my answer.” Blake stops to take a deep breath, holding Pax’s eye contact bravely, even if his voice shakes a little.
“Pax, our ‘what comes next’ has me excited in a way nothing in my life ever did before. I got… not much to offer you, back home. But whatever I do have, if you wanted to share it? Shit, Pax. I can’t think of anything —anything —on the damn planet that would make me happier. My whole apartment is about the size of this suite, but when I think about you in it? Damn.”
Blake shakes his head. “I think about you sitting on my couch when I get home from work, TV on and Chinese takeout from the place down the block on the table. I think about you maybe washing up in my shower, using my shampoo. I think about you doing yoga in the patch of sunlight in my living room under the bay window in the morning. I think about you waking up next to me, maybe stealing a pair of my sweatpants from thedrawer before going to put some coffee on. I think aboutyou,in my space, and — and I can’t put into words how much I want it, how much that means to me.”
There’s a long, heavy moment of silence where Blake’s stomach ties itself into a tight knot and dual waves of horror and humiliation begin to rise in his body, but then Paxton blinks hard, and twin tears track down each of his cheeks.
“Blake,”he whispers, pulling his hands from the water to frame Blake’s face and kiss him hard. “Yes, please,” is all Pax manages to say between presses of lips and swipes of tongue, but Blake’s never felt so relieved in his life.
And truthfully, he doesn’t want to fuckin’ talk. He said what he needed to say — so long as Pax feels the same, Blake doesn’t need a big damn flowery speech. He should have known that Pax talks with his body, though, that he’s used to using sex to communicate, that helikesit that way, Ava be damned.
“Will you fuck me?” Pax asks, near-panting into Blake’s mouth, barely wanting to pull away enough to ask the question. Blake can feel his breath hot on his lips, and Pax’s hands are both still cupping his face.
“‘Course, Pax,” Blake replies with a little nod, stealing short kisses in between his replies. “If that’s what you want.”
“I want it all,” Pax says, eyes dark, blue barely even visible under his half-opened lids. Blake’s never seen him so lust-drunk, so carried away, and he has a sudden, fierce urge to take care of him, to show Pax that he’s both wanted and worthy.Thisis what the Retreat took away from them, and Blake’s quickly realizing that while that had to be done to get them here, it’s equally important to take back.
“Let’s have it all, then,” Blake suggests, sitting up and turning to face Paxton more fully, since his neck is starting to hurt. The water sloshes around them in the tub, slapping at the walls in violent, pink-frothed waves. “Really get our money’s worth. Hey, if we’re only getting charged for one thing, might as well do it up right.”
