After a bit of wandering and the ditching of his empty beer bottle in a potted plant, Blake finally stumbles upon Pax hiding in a shady patch behind one of the outer buildings. It’s an area of the resort that’s dangerously close to the production quarters. They’re not supposed to be back here, but it’s notlike this is even the first rule he and Pax have broken today, so whatever.
When Blake turns the corner, Pax looks up like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Except here, the cookie jar is a joint, and Pax is finishing up taking a pretty substantial hit. He smiles guiltily and then looks down at his bare toes, cheeks flushing. “I told you that you might not like what you find,” his gravely voice says. “And here you are, finding me anyway.”
“What, the weed?” Blake questions, stepping off of the sidewalk and crunching across bark and twigs to stand against the wall by Pax’s side. The palm fronds overhead sway slowly, making the patchy sunlight on Pax’s face flicker. He looks sad. Blake reaches down and takes what’s left of the joint from Pax’s hand, lifting it to his lips and inhaling.
It’s been ages since he did this, and only a few times with a bartender he used to see who liked to fuck high. She was hot, but Blake wasyoungand Hayden was still in high school. By that time, Blake was all that was standing between his kid brother and a blue-collar life he didn’t deserve to be pigeon-holed into. She never stood a chance in comparison, and Blake — well, Blake’s never come close to anything resembling a relationship since.
Until now.
He turns his head, looks down the scant two inches to meet Pax’s eyes, flicking his gaze down to Pax’s lips. Pax seems to understand, and as he parts them, Blake leans in closer andreleases the smoke. They don’t break the rules again, their lips never touch, but Blake blows what’s in his lungs straight into Pax’s, and it’s easily as intimate as if they had.
“Hmm,” Paxton hums happily as Blake draws back and relaxes against the wall. Next to him, Pax is lookingmuchmore at ease now, if somewhat glassier in the eyes. “That was delightful.” When he speaks, the smoke escapes from his mouth, and Blakewisheshe could chase it. “And not the response I was expecting.”
“I got no issue with pot, Pax,” Blake says, hooking his pinky finger into Paxton’s where it hangs at his side. In response, Paxton smiles, but something dark passes behind his eyes and he shifts his gaze down again.
“You may have an issue with why I use it,” he replies softly, but he doesn’t pull his hand away. “Earlier, when I said I was an addict, I wasn’tonlyreferring to sex. In fact, I know that I am not a sex addict, because I am, in reality, a heroin addict. I’m very familiar with the line between what is addiction and what is hedonism. Sex is a coping mechanism for me, a replacement. So is marijuana.”
“So?” Blake replies with a shrug. “Dude, that’s fucking awesome. I thinkyou’reawesome. Smoke all the pot you want if it keeps you off that garbage. Or hell, smoke it because you want to, I don’t give a shit. Have you seen how much I drink? Be pretty hypocritical of me to judge your means of escapism.”
Paxton laughs softly and tilts his head back against the wall, watching Blake fondly, so Blake flashes him his widest smile. “You are a good man, Blake Lawrence,” he says.
Blake snorts and tries to shake off the way his cheeks flame. “Your standards are shitty,” he replies, dismissive. In his hand, the roach is nearly kicked, so Blake holds it up. “May I?” he asks. Pax nods, so Blake takes a drag that burns it all the way to the makeshift filter. Once done, he scrapes the lit end against the side of the house to put it out. As he exhales, the THC really hits his bloodstream, making him feel floaty and a little dissociated.
“Whoa,” he remarks approvingly, looking up into the tree cover and enjoying the way the light fractalizes and bounces off of the shiny leaves.
“It’s medical,” Paxton supplies. “Very high quality. Potent.”
“Bet it’s incredible to have sex on.”
At his side, Blake feels Paxton wrap lithe fingers around his bicep and press his face into his shoulder. “You havenoidea,” he mutters, mostly into Blake’s shirt. “As much as I want you to find out — and Blake, Ireallydo — I think we should go back to the party. I—”
He breaks off, pulls back a little, and Blake tears his eyes away from the pretty leafy dance going on above his head to try and focus on his friend. “What, Pax?” he asks gently,mesmerized all the more by the blue of Paxton’s eyes.So blue. So pretty.
“I just — I truly enjoyed what happened here. You, the way you—” He stops and shakes his head, taking a deep breath before grabbing Blake by the hand and dragging him back towards civilization.
“Alrighty, Pax,” Blake replies breezily as he follows behind, feeling like his feet are barely touching the ground as he walks. In his head, he giddily decides that Pax makes him feel like he’s walking on air.
As they round the corner of the building, Pax pulls a pack of gum from his pocket and pops a piece, offering Blake one too, which he accepts. As Blake chews, the cinnamon that he’s been smelling vaguely on Pax’s person suddenly makes sense.
The group greets them to a chorus of thinly veiled threats warning that they better not have been off fucking around, and Blake abruptly remembers that no one knows he and Pax kissed on the beach yet. Though, from the look on Vincent’s face, it’s pretty clear he’s assuming they have, and he ain’t happy about it.
Still, Ava hasn’t outed them, so Blake certainly isn’t about to. He flashes Vin a sunny smile and helps himself to another beer before shoving Paxton sideways into the pool and then following him in.
Despite Blake’s apprehensive misgivings, there are no new surprises for the rest of the day. In fact, it’s pretty damnchill. Everyone hangs out in and around the pool, drinking and snacking, playing “get to know you” games that the producers suggest but don’t force them to do. Two Truths and a Lie, Get-to-Know-You-Jenga, and a thing with M&Ms where the colors correspond to various questions and you answer whichever one you pick out of the bowl.
The whole group mostly stays together, though Blake’s scrutinizing eye picks up that he and Pax aren’t the only ones gravitating towards someone specific and away from the others. It’s all very new, and no one seems overly interested in peeling off for one-on-one time yet, which Blake thinks is probably for the best. He and Pax can cuddle in the hot tub and drape themselves over each other’s shoulders in the pool just fine with everyone else around — especially since they’re all doing the same thing.
Too much time alone with Pax right now won’t lead anywhere good, Blake knows it. Hell, they spent half an hour together on the beach and ended up horizontal in the sand. They got high in the bushes and Blake was ready to drop to his knees right there.
He’s trying, but he’s not a damn saint, he’s perpetually tipsy, and Pax is basically half-naked all the time in front of him. It’s not the best recipe for self-restraint and celibacy.
Anyway, Blake’s learning a lot about Pax in the group setting, and sharing as much right back. It’s clear that Pax is directing his answers to questions and to trivia and such atBlake,which is both flattering and intimidating. For the hundredth time today, Blake both wants to run screaming fromthis placeandto try harder. Every time Pax takes his turn in a game or answers a “getting to know you” M&M, he makes an effort to turn his body towards Blake, to make eye contact, to talkto him,as if no one else is even there.
The urge to drop to his knees only gets stronger, but Blake alsolikesPax more with each passing minute. And sure, maybe the booze and weed is lubricating the way, making things seem easier, more perfect than the cold, hard reality he knows life to be, but what’s so wrong with that? Blake’s doing something he never thought he would, didn’t even consider himselfcapableof just days prior, and he’s proud of that. A little oil on the gears is the least he deserves — at least, that’s what Blake’s telling himself.
Sometime in the early evening, the producers ask them all to gather on the furniture next to the pool, the same place where Ava dropped her bomb on them the night before. The camera people set up in front of the space, and there are a decent number of production staff roaming around, so Blake feels like he has a good idea of what’s coming. This is a moment they want to capture, and to capture correctly, the first time.
As he drags himself up off of the lounger he’s been half-dozing in, Blake catches Pax’s eye and pulls a face. Pax’s only response is to take his hand and lead them both over to one of the two-person loveseats, pulling Blake down insistently, nearly onto his lap.
