Whole-ass yikes.
Blake is pretty sure he’d rather eat Hayden’s rabbit food every day for the rest of his life than subject himself to that potential global humiliation and heartbreak. Hell, he doesn’tknowPaxton, not really. The guy could be a fame whore, could be using Blake — out to do whatever it takes to grab fifteen minutes in the spotlight.
Sighing and digging his toes into the sand, Blake drops his head between his shoulders. A warm breeze drifts across his skin and hints at the inevitably scorching day ahead. Blake picks at his fingers.Anything is possible,he supposes, but that doesn’t mean it’slikely.Pax just… doesn’t read like a manipulative or opportunistic kind of guy.
Maybe he doesn’t have a reason to, but Blake actually believes Paxton when he says he came here for the orgy potential, and that it’s not any deeper than that. That he just likes that kind of stuff and has no qualms about being filmed doing it. There’s really nothing Blake’s seen in their short time together that suggests Pax is anything less than authentic all of the time, but what does he know?
And what if he’s wrong?
That thought is worrying, and preoccupying. With Blake’s mind a mess and the distraction of gentle waves rolling in and out over the sand in front of him, leaving foam in their wake to fizzle and pop, Blake doesn’t take notice to anyone approaching. Not, at least, until that someone is hovering directly over his head and clearing their throat conspicuously, anyway.
“Hello, Blake,” Paxton says, when Blake doesn’t really acknowledge his presence in a meaningful way. “May I sit?”
“Hey, Pax,” Blake murmurs, patting the sand next to him. His new friend (or whatever) slides to the ground gracefully, sinking into a sort-of cross-legged position that has his ankles overlapping near his thighs. He does it without the use of his hands, since he’s holding a coffee in each. Blake has to admit, that’scrazyimpressive and weirdly hot, especially because Pax is basically naked; stupid bee undies notwithstanding.
All the same, it doesn’t look very comfortable, an opinion of Blake’s which must show on his face because Paxton smiles widely as he hands over one of the mugs. “This pose opens up the hips,” he explains, punctuating his comment with a wink. “Something you might have appreciated had we not been interrupted last night.”
Blake groans. “Flag on the play; unfair teasing before coffee. Though you did bring me some, so I won’t red-card you.”
“I don’t understand that reference,” Paxton says placidly, sipping from his own mug and staring at Blake openly.Thisis why Blake feels like the guy is believably honest — you can’t fake that kind of unflinching eye contact, that lack of fear of beingseen.On anyone else it might be creepy. On Pax, Blake never wants him to look away. “Sports, I’m assuming. The sort of physical activity I prefer is the kind that takes place in the bedroom.”
“We’re on the same page there,” Blake agrees, before lifting the mug to his mouth and taking a long, gratifying sip.Steaming hot and black with a hint of real sugar, just the way Blake likes it, which has to be an outrageously lucky guess.
“The producers apparently have a list of each of our food and drink preferences,” Paxton offers, answering the question Blake didn’t yet ask. “In theory, it’s for them and to keep the kitchen stocked, however, as soon as Rachel saw me preparing two coffees, she was very swift to volunteer your information.”
Blake snorts into his cup. “Yeah?” he asks, wiping a hand across his mouth and clocking the way Paxton watches him do it.
“I’m fairly certain I was not supposed to tell you that.”
“I mean, coffee is great, but if that chick’s plan was to get me to break rules or fall in love with you, bacon would have been the superior choice. Heaping pile of bacon, extra crispy.” Blake nods at Paxton, doing his best to look incredibly sincere. “Great, now I’m hungry.”
“Note taken,” Paxton says with amusement. “Though, I’m not sure I can decide which of those outcomes I should be hoping for.”
A strangled noise makes its way unbidden from Blake’s mouth, and he buries his face in the coffee mug once again, embarrassed. What hedoesn’texpect is for Paxton’s fingers to cover the top of the cup, pushing it down as he scoots closer. “Blake,” he says, eyes wide and genuine. “I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable. I apologize. I understand if you aren’tinterested in… pursuing this, any of it. The rules of the Retreat, my company — please believe me, there’s no pressure here.”
“No, Pax, I — I think I know that,” Blake replies with a sigh, allowing Paxton to direct his mug into the sand, using it as a makeshift cupholder. Heshouldleave the discussion at that, but on a whim, when Pax goes to pull his hand back, Blake grabs it and holds on. “This okay?” he asks, lifting his eyes in time to see surprise and delight dawn over Pax’s face.
Damn, but he is handsome.The morning light makes Pax look softer, makes his incredible blue eyes sparkle and his dark hair shine. The ocean’s got nothing on that sight, and the way Pax drags his bottom lip through his teeth, Blake’s slowly realizing that he’s very,veryfucked, sex ban or no.
“More than,” Paxton replies, tightening his own grip. His hands are soft, too, not calloused and rough from working with them, like Blake’s.
Blake takes a deep breath and lets it out, nodding resolutely even though it’s himself he needs to convince to use his words. “So, here’s the thing, Pax,” he starts, and like always, Paxton’s staring back with focused attention, like Blake is the only person on the planet. Strangely, that gives Blake the confidence he’s been looking for, and he spits out his thoughts before he can lose his nerve.
“It’s not like I’m a sex addict or something. I just prefer hooking up, you know? It’s how I’ve always been, how I had to be for a long time. Responsibilities and all that. Shit that wasbigger than just me. I only even came here because for the first time in my life, I don’thaveall that to worry about anymore.”
Blake glances up from where he’s been staring down at his swim shorts, worrying the hem between the thumb and index finger of his free hand. Yep, Pax is still staring, but he smiles encouragingly, so Blake continues.
“Past me — you know, the one who wasn’t in on the Ava-catch — would say this is still a win-win situation. Play by the rules and walk away with some cash, break the rules and get some… Well, you probably know where I’m going with that. At the very least, if all else fails, maybe I make a new friend. Maybe it’s that simple.”
Startling him, Paxton laughs loudly and Blake raises his eyebrows, unsure if he should be offended. “What?” Pax says, still chuckling. “I like past you. However, since we are sharing, I think you should know that it’s almost certainly not that simple for me. I recognize that you used that word flippantly, but it’s possible that I’m a bit more of an addict than you are. It’s been a very long time since I’ve been put in a position where I had to really consider whether that is the case, and I’m not entirely sure I don’t resent it.”
“Oh, shit, Pax — I’m such a dick. I wasn’t trying to be flip. Or like, trivialize your—”
Paxton waves his free hand dismissively while simultaneously squeezing the one still twisted in Blake’s. He appears virtually unbothered as he lifts his head to look out overthe water. Relieved, Blake clamps his mouth shut before he can say something stupider.
After a moment of listening to the waves, Paxton keeps talking. “I only said that so you’d understand what you’re getting into, asking to be my ‘friend,’ and in trying to get to know me. It’s very possible you won’t like what you find.”
For the first time, Blake can see Paxton waver, can see a hint of insecurity and uncertainty simmering just below his easygoing, “nothing bothers me” exterior. Honestly, it only drives the fishing hook Blake’s bitten into his cheek more firmly home, makes himthatmuch surer that Pax is the real deal. That he’s worth stepping out on a limb for.
