“With the breakup?”
I nodded, dropping my head into my hands and staring at the top of the worn oak tabletop. “I think I—fuck, I think I finally figured out what happened.”
“You didn’t…know?”
A fair question.
I thought I did, to an extent.
But no.
“I didn’tunderstand. Her. What was going through her mind.” I closed my already heavy lids, trying to think back to what she’d said that day when everything fell apart. “And I was such an ass, letting her leave because of it. I should have taken the time to figure her out, but she was the one person I thought I knew better than anyone, and I just assumed I…”
Theo was quiet for a long moment while I sank into memories I hated revisiting. All I could hear was the distant echo of Eleanor’s voice and the soft boiling of whatever he had on the stove.
“Knew everything?” he finally finished for me.
“Yeah.” My mouth was dry, the word sticking to my lips.
I’d thought I’d known Ellie inside and out, but at a certain point, something had shifted in her. And I hadn’t been paying close enough attention to realize it.
“But she came back,” he finally said. “For you, Sul.”
“I know,” I rasped.
“So just don’t let her leave again,” he replied like it was the easiest thing in the world. “Or if she wants to leave, go with her this time.”
I lifted my head to find my brother watching me carefully. “Are you trying to get rid of me?”
The corner of his mouth tilted. “You know what I mean.”
“I do know. And believe me, that’s my plan.”
He nodded in response, and I noticed for the first time just how exhausted he looked. Dark circles appeared under his eyes, even though he said he’d gotten a couple of hours of sleep on my couch when he’d gone to grab my stuff.
“Do you want to crash here?” I asked. “Or are you gonna head home?”
“I think I’ll put this in a Crock-Pot for you, and then I’ll head out. Unless you want me to stay?”
“Nah, man.” I shook my head. “You’ve done enough. More than enough.”
“Okay.” Theo crossed the room to pull me up out of my chair and give me a tight hug, clapping my back and gripping hard. “I’m so sorry, Sul,” he said, his voice gruff in my ear.
I nodded because it was all I could do. Emotion had clogged my throat, leaving my vocal cords out of order.
“Get some rest, okay?” he added, and again, I nodded. “Call me if you need me, and tell Ellie I’m thinking about her.”
“I will,” I managed to croak out and then thanked him before wandering back upstairs to Eleanor.
Always back to Eleanor.
As promised, I slept in Natalie’s bed, but I left both doors open so I could see her curled up on the end of my bed from across the hall.
I heard Theo leave the house before drifting off to sleep.
And when I woke a few hours later, the rain had stopped pattering on the roof, and I could feel the afternoon sun on my face, along with something else. Something even better than sunshine. Something brown and warm that felt a lot like home.
“Hey, El,” I murmured.
