His voice teased, like it did when he was trying to mask something. So I gave him a little nudge with my elbow, and he sighed.
“I’d love to have a Summers child,” he said, his voice softer as he curled his fingers around my belly like he could protect it from the world. “Wouldn’t be the first time that someone with the last name of Summers was my favorite person in the world. Imagine if there were two of them. How lucky would I be?”
Tears sprang to my eyes in an instant, and I found it hard to catch a breath, let alone form a response.
“I like the last name of Summers a lot, actually,” Sully went on as though he hadn’t just lassoed my heart and given it a tight squeeze. “So, whatever you want, El.”
Whatever I want.
I was starting to realize that I wantedso much,and that terrified me.
Unable to bring myself to talk anymore about our child’s name, I instead murmured, “You know, I prefer this.” For just a second, I dared to cover my hand over his and sink into his embrace. “Compared to the last time.”
I felt Sully’s lips now, grazing the curve of my ear, and I sucked in a breath.
“Compared to Boston?”
He sounded dazed.
What was he thinking about?
“Yeah, when you weren’t…” My breath hitched as I shifted and felt otherthingsthat reminded me of Boston. Or one thing, rather—one thing that was prodding my ass. “There,” I managed to finish. “You weren’t there when I woke. It was…”
The worst. The absolute worst. The coldest splash of water when I’d been expectingthis—this warm comfort, this moment of familiarity.
Sully’s breathing stilled as he waited for me to finish my sentence. His fingers flexed a little in the fabric of my dress—the same dress I’d been wearing last night—and the press of his fingertips against my belly only liquified my insides further.
I’d never felt so many conflicting things all within a single moment before.
“Eleanor,” Sully rasped before releasing an exhale that was heavy with a pent-up emotion I couldn’t quite identify. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s—” I started to say that it was okay, but then my mouth snapped shut, not letting the words out.Thosewords, in particular. “You asked to stay, and I thought…” I shook my head. What I’d thought had been foolish, but still—it had hurt, his disappearing act.
Because truth was, I went to sleep thinking I’d have more time. Sully had curled himself around me, had said he was goingto stay the night, and I hadn’t worried about the fleeting moments, the time I’d miss out on with him if I fell asleep. Because I thought he’d be there when I woke up.
But he’d been gone.
And I hadn’t expected it to hit so hard, butfuck, it did.
“I wanted to,” Sully said when I didn’t finish my sentence. His lips brushed the side of my throat, the faintest kiss against my skin. “I hated leaving, El.” He released another sigh, and this time, Ifeltthe regret, so easily identifiable. “But I couldn’t watch you walk away again. So I left before there was even a chance of that.”
I let that sink in. Let it wrap around my heart. Squeeze. Bruise it. I let myself feel how heavy a truth that was. “You could have at least woken me first.”
“I could have,” he acknowledged. “But I just…I didn’t want to hear you say goodbye, either. I thought it would be easier without it.”
“Was it?”
“Nothing about this summer has been easy, Eleanor.”
The truest words he’d probably ever spoken.
Sully’s grip was loose enough now that I was able to turn in his arms. I faced him, our noses less than an inch from brushing and our eyes flicking to find each other, a collision of brown and blue.
“Hey,” he murmured, and I tried to ignore the way my stomach flipped as he brushed my tangled hair out of my face.
“Hey.” I gave him the smallest smile.
And then I snapped my mouth shut again when a distinct gurgle in my stomach made its way quickly to my throat, and?—
