He grabs my biceps. “Do you hear yourself? You’re talking about changing everything that makes you,you.”
I don’t flinch, staring up at him with an unwavering gaze. “I am so much more than my skin and bones, and there is nothing I won’t give to accomplish my goals. I’m going to remake the world, Gregor. My body is nothing in comparison.”
Gregor’s fingers unravel slowly. He sees something in my expression that changes his own. Like he’s truly seeing what I’ve become for the first time—untethered, so used to fighting my way out of corners my feet know the steps like a dance.
I force my expression to soften. “Will you look after her while I’m gone?”
“Of course.” He seems almost offended I’d even feel the need to ask.
I give him a weary smile. “Thank you.”
We spend a good portion of the rest of the day planning. We do it at Arina’s bedside. I step away only to find some food, stocking them up on provisions and showing Gregor the way to the kitchens. My suspicion that there is still a chef in the academy proves correct, judging from the warmth of the stove and the fresh scraps in the bin when I enter. But the chef is nowhere to be found an hour after lunch.
I take enough food that I’m sure he’ll take note. But he’ll bring his concerns of strange disappearances from the pantry to Kaelis, no doubt. And Kaelis will smother the worry. He’ll find a way to avoid attracting suspicion. He always does.
After managing to get a bit of sleep, I give one last farewell to Arina and Gregor and return to Kaelis’s apartments. He’s not in his room, dining area, or study, so I venture into the wing that was mine and find the room I’d last stayed in transformed. The bed is gone. Vanished magically, no doubt. A heavy blanket has been laid over the rug, and a large table waits in the center of the room. Smaller tables have been moved in, with decks of cards spread across them alongside saws and pliers and hammers.
A bracing breath fills my lungs. I stand a bit taller. Kaelis turns from where he stands, assessing his supplies. He takes a second to study me, as if searching for a trace of doubt. Finding none, he gives a nod.
“I sent Rewina away,” he says, anticipating my question. “I didn’t want to risk her hearing anything. And yes, I moved all the furniture myself.”
There’s a tease there about him being a spoiled prince and still moving heavy furniture around, even with the help of magic. But I can’t bring myself to make it. Not when those blades and surgical tools are glinting in the fading light.
“Are you ready for this?” He places a final deck down on a side table.
“I am.” No hesitation.
“I take it you wouldn’t like a Knight of Wands to take an edge off the nerves, then?”
I shake my head, thinking of Arina. “I will be fully of my own mind for this.”
He nods but stares at his deck, as if considering whetherheneeds one. If that’s indeed the cause of the hesitation, he ultimately decides against it.
“Do you trust me?” he asks softly. Why, suddenly, does it sound likehe’safraid?
“More than I should, clearly.”
“Then forgive me for all that’s to come.” He crosses to me, and his palm rests gently on my cheek.
“I’ve given it some consideration and think we should begin with the face,” I say. “It’s the most important.”
“I was thinking the same.” His thumb drags across my cheek slowly, as if memorizing it for the last time. Finally, he gestures to the table in the center. “Lie down.”
I do so without hesitation. I place myself upon the altar of his magical theory. Of his arrogance that he can remake me. I am an offering to his power.
“At any point, I welcome your input.” He approaches. One last time, his knuckles brush along my jaw. “And know that if it were up to me, if the world were of a different make, I would’ve never changed a thing about you. You are perfect, Clara.”
“And I always will be.”
He smirks slightly and takes in my features one last time with sheer adoration.
Then he destroys them.
Chapter 26
I become little more than clay beneath his hands. Kaelis doesn’t hesitate. Doesn’t falter.
Even with cards to numb and heal, the pain is just as he promised: excruciating. Until it all fades away. Until I disconnect from my body as I have so many times before when I have been forced to endure such torture.
