“Don’t patronize me, MacCormack.”
He looks at my lips, and I remind myself not to move closer. Just in case someone from work sees us. Just in case we’re being watched. He leans over and says quietly, “I’m honestly reallytouched. No one has ever done something like learning to dance for me before.”
“Does it make you less impressed if I tell you I’m enjoying it?”
He looks at my lips again, and I wonder if we are going to risk it.Please risk it, I think. He glances around, then he freezes, spotting something behind us.
“What is it?”
“Nothing.” The warmth has left his expression.
“Is it someone from work?”
He shakes his head.
“Eliana?”
He shakes his head, his expression grim. “It’s my ex-wife. I haven’t seen her since the divorce.”
I think of that made-up story we told to Vivi about Ollie having a panic attack after seeing his ex-wife. Suddenly I wonder if maybe there was some truth to it. I glance around, looking at the crowd.
“Has she seen you yet?”
“I don’t think so. Maybe.”
“Come on,” I say, taking his arm and pulling him toward the side of the pier. “We’re not leaving. We’re just going to talk.”
When we are positioned looking out at the milky-pink surface of the river, our arms resting against each other on the handrail, I risk a closer look at him. His eyes are haunted as he stares at the horizon.
“Is your brother here, too?”
He shakes his head, taking a moment to find his voice. “I don’t think so. It looked like she was with some people from Dancing Up a Storm, where she used to take classes. I recognized a few of them.” He glances at me and then away. “You deserve better than this. I’m sorry. I feel like I’m letting you down.”
“It’s fine. It’s not like you ran up to her and begged her to come back. Unless that’s the plan for later.”
He huffs out a laugh. “No. Definitely not. I’m just not sure what to say if she wants to talk. I haven’t had to deal with this before.”
I consider for a moment. “So okay. This woman—I’m not going to say skank…” The corner of his mouth twitches. “She did something really hurtful. And instead of telling her to avoid you, you quit the field, right? You left New York. And when you came back, you stopped doing any social dancing. So can you explain that to me? Why are you the one who thinks you have to avoid her, when she’s the one who did something wrong?”
He shakes his head. There’s an answer, but he doesn’t want to say it.
I glance back at the crowd to see if anyone is watching us, but I can’t spot anyone. “If she sees you, I know what she’s going to be thinking. She’s thinking, ‘What does he think of me? Does he still hate me?’ And if you want the upper hand, all you have to do is not give her that. Just be polite, and tell her nothing, and let her fixate on it. That’s your revenge.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t want revenge.”
“Then what do you want?”
“I just keep thinking…” He hesitates again. “I guess I’m scared.”
“Of…?”
“I don’t want to hear her say that she picked the better guy.” The words burst out of him. “That she’s happier now because she’s with him.” His eyes are on his fists, his shoulders tense.
“She didn’t pick him at all!” I step closer to him until he looks at me. “They both screwed up and their whole marriage is an attempt to make it look like this was something they wanted the whole time.”
He is shaking his head. “Maybe they did want it the whole time.”
“No. Look at me.” Ollie glances up. “Right now, she is married to a man who is capable of sleeping with his brother’s wife. Don’t you think she’s wondering whether she trusts him? Don’t you think she is aware that you are the one decent person in the whole situation? I mean, there is no one in New York City I would pick over you.”
