Stars, I’dkissedhim. Shared deep feelings with him. Started to fall inlovewith him—
I felt sick.
Because Val was right.
Sian’s voice interrupted my thoughts, a deep and quiet murmur of “Starlight?” as he set the lightsaber down and shrugged out of his jacket. I’d let down my guard, and now I couldn’t even look at him, afraid my face would betray my horror.
The glint of the pin was harsh in the shine from the night sky. My hands began to shake.
He sat up, finally realizing something was wrong. “What’s wrong?” And then, with a bolt of fear, he checked his pockets, but I already had what he was looking for.He turned those strange galaxy eyes back to me, and then to the pin in my hand.
At the same time, my gaze fell on the lightsaber.
The next moment was a blur. I reached for it, and so did he, but he was a moment too late. I grabbed it and lurched away from him to my feet, pointing the saber at him like a weapon I knew how to use, and I most definitely didnot. The metal was cold against my skin, but my resolve steadied. My hands had stopped shaking.
“Ardent…” he started, palm raised toward me as if to calm a wild animal.
Oh, he didnotknow just how wild I was about to be.
“Ardent, I can explain.”
So hewasFirst Order.
I aimed the mouth of the saber at him and pulled my thumb over the button. It was broken—something I very much knew. We both did. I could do nothing with a broken saber, but he still needed it, so…I pulled it behind my head, ready to throw it.
He shot to his feet.“Chuta,”he cursed. “Wait a moment—”
I glared at him. “Itrustedyou,” I spat, my voice sharp and cold. “The men on Coruscant—you planted that First Order code cylinder, didn’t you? You tricked me into thinking they were the bad guys, but it wasyouthe whole time.”
His eyebrows shot up. “I…what?”
“You’re a monster,” I ground out.
His eyes widened with sudden hurt. Then his shoulders slumped, and he suddenly looked very, very tired. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
“Itrustedyou,” I seethed.
He swallowed thickly. “I know. But…” His gaze didn’t stray from mine even as I tensed to throw the saber, as if it wasn’t as important to him. “I didn’t plant anything on those men, Starlight. They were actually First Order.”
“Right, and you’re going to tell me thisisn’tyours?” I opened my other hand, where the pin had pressed into my palm.
“No, it is.” He glanced down at it and then back at me. His white pupils dilated for a moment—an anxious pulse—before he reined them in again. “I just could never bring myself to throw it away.”
I tightened my grip around the saber.
“I promise. The academy that I told you about? It was a First Order school. They kidnapped children and took them there to train them to be mindless soldiers. That was my pin.”
I gritted my teeth. “Why should I believe younow? Why shouldn’t I just toss this and then go with Val and leave you stranded here?”
He set his mouth in a thin line. “Because I have nothing to lose.”
“Says someone caught red-handed.”
“Ardent, I wouldn’t—”
“I don’t believe you,” I announced.
His face flickered with determination. Then he plucked a closed bud from the vine that twined around the tower’s pillar and popped it into his mouth and chewed. “I’m not lying,” he replied, wincing at the taste. “That’s awful.”
