That was all either of the droids needed to hear to agree to the plan. So I went about digging up a few roots of the vines and finding rocks that Veebee could use as a mortar and pestle. I hoped this would work.
At what point over the past three years had Val fallen in line with the First Order? At what point had he been so desperate that he joined a fringe group of zealots? I didn’t understand it. He’d never liked the Empire—neither of us did, as kids of rebel fighters. We grew up on Mom and Dad’s stories of running supplies and dodging firefights, and the terror they still felt whenever they heard the sound of ships breaking out of hyperspace, always expecting an ambush of TIE fighters.
The war had done so much damage to all the people who’d fought in it, and even to the ones who hadn’t, who simply existed in the galaxy and found themselves pulled in from the edges.
In the quiet of the planet, I could hear my childhood in the white noise, my brother’s bright laughter as we played rebels and fought imaginary foes.
“Pow-pow!” my brother cried, aiming his makeshift blaster at boxes stacked up and wrapped in white like stormtroopers, ducking behind a crate in the storage room of theStarfarer.
“Throw!” I cried, throwing out my hands. “I will send them flying with the Force!”
He scowled, peeking up from behind the crate. “Youknowthe Force doesn’t work like that, Arie!”
“I don’t know how the Force works, so it can do whateverIwant it to do,” I replied indignantly.
“No, it can’t!”
“Yes, it can.”
“Whatever. Pow!” he added, miming shooting the sheet-clad enemy. “They’re dead, anyway. Blaster bolt between the eyes.”
Of course he always had to have the last say. I hated that. So I gasped and cried, “Oh no, they’re taking over my mind!”
“What is?”
“Eeeevil! Terrible! The daaaaark side! It’s implanted nano-droids in my miiiind!” I cried, convulsing, and dropped to the floor. Then I gasped, reaching out for him. “Go! Save…yourself!”
But Val set his mouth in a thin line and pretended to reload his blaster. “Never! I’ll save you, Arie! I’ll always be on your side.”
In the end, he destroyed the “control box” that had taken over my mind, just in time for theStarfarerto kick out of hyperspace near Corellia, where the next tour would begin. When we finally walked into the mess hall for dinner, Dad came up to us and took us by our shoulders urgently.
“Where have youbeen?” he asked, face red with anger. “I’ve been looking everywhere!”
“We were in the cargo hold,” Val said.
I added, “We were playing!”
“Don’t ever do that again. I didn’t know where you were,” Dad said. “You can’t go down into the cargo hold again. It’s dangerous.”
“It’s on theship, Dad,” Val argued, wrenching his shoulder out of Dad’s grip. “Where do you think we’d go?”
Dad shook his head. “This isn’t an argument.”
“It’s not fair! Mom would let us,” he added, storming out of the mess hall. He didn’t have dinner that evening.
Dad looked at me. Mom had been gone for two years at that point, and Dad hated having us out of his sight. I shifted on my feet. “I’m sorry, Daddy. We won’t do it again,” I added, because I knew that was what he wanted to hear.
He gave a relieved sigh and pulled me into a hug. “You two are all I have left, love,” he whispered into my hair. I looked past him, over his shoulder at the other crew members, some of them hired for only six months or a year, some permanent like Daaric and Maeve.But what about them?I wanted to ask, but I never did, and Daaric and Maeve pretended nothing had ever happened.
TheStarfarerwas my home, but as I opened my eyes and looked out at the wide sky, I knew it was also my cage.
Nothing bad ever happened as long as I was on theStarfarer. That was what Dad had taught me. It was a lie, because bad things happened whether or not I was on the ship. He couldn’t protect me from everything—heshouldn’t.
I could protect myself, too.
Veebee had ground the roots into a powder. I began to dust it over myself, the grains so fine they were almost translucent. It made me shimmer a little more than usual, but I didn’t mind.
Like starlight on my skin. Maybe Sian’s nickname really did suit me.
