I shove him away from me, walking to the entrance of the store. Outside, I pull the pack of cigarettes from my pocket and light one up, sucking in for a long while before I let it go.
“You should stop smoking. It’s not good for your health.”
“What’s that?” I ask, pointing to the can I just noticed sticking out of the pocket of his pants.
“I brought it for you,” he says, pulling the can from his pants and passing it to me. A watermelon Red Bull.
“That one is my favorite,” I say.
“I know. You always have one,” he says. Not wrong. The last two nights after my shifts, Clayton and I have studied and I’ve brought the same Red Bull with me. “I know that you can get them here, but I just wanted to get something for you.”
“Thank you,” I say as I take it from him. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“Forgotten,” he says with a wave of his hand. “Just don’t let it happen again or I won’t be so forgiving.”
“You didn’t hear what she said,” I say again.
“Drop. It.” He grinds out.
I close my mouth into a thin line, nodding my head.
I tell myself that I’m going to let it go. I was going to make her pay, but I respect Clayton more than I thought. If he doesn’t want me to push on it, I’ll stop.
I just can’t be held responsible for what happens if Amberlyn runs into me again.
Chapter 12
Clayton
Iusedtohavearoutine.
Wake up. Go to classes. Check my emails. Do my homework. Go to bed. Repeat.
It’s changed over the last few weeks.
Max works Tuesday through Thursday at Quick Stop and each night afterwards he finds his way to my dorm and we study. The nights he has off, we go out for a bite to eat or a bike ride. I don’t throw up anymore, exposure therapy or whatever.
Every time we hang out, I try to push away my growing feelings for him because I can’t survive the heartache that would bring. The rejection that would come. But I’m confused because I see the way he looks at me, the hint of something more in his eyes when he thinks I don’t notice. When our eyes meet, that look in his eyes leaves. Whenever he smiles at me, it always reaches his eyes.
We’ve spent hours getting to know each other and I fall more and more each day, each moment, each second. Even if he isn’t with me, he’s blowing up my phone with TikToks and memes.
We can’t escape each other and it’s only a matter of time before I crack and tell him that Ilikehim.
I’m thinking about this as I sit with him, Maverick, and Dax at their spot. The smell of marijuana in the air, lingering just under my nose and soaking into my clothes.
“You want a hit?” Maverick asks me, pointing the joint in my direction.
“You ask me every time,” I say.
“I’m hoping one of these days I’ll get you to cave,” he smirks.
I’ve considered it, but only because I feel safe with Max.
“Maybe one day,” I mumble.
“What do you want to do for your birthday?” Dax asks Maverick, changing the subject.
We’ve all been wondering about this since Maverick’s birthday is this weekend. He’s turning twenty-three, having taken two years off before attending college. He’s the oldest of us all. He took a gap year before he came to college. Max turns twenty-two this year. Dax and I turn twenty-one.
