“I was thinking of an amusement park,” he says, excited.
“Clayton, you should come with us,” Max says, taking the joint from Maverick. When he hits the joint, his cheeks hollow a little bit from sucking and it sends my mind right to places it shouldn’t be going.
My dick spikes up and I adjust myself nonchalantly, fixing my position on the couch.
“Oh. I mean, I don’t want to intrude on his birthday shenanigans,” I explain.
“Nonsense. You’re more than welcome,” Maverick says. “You’re basically one of us now. Just a… clean version,” he laughs.
“Oh, screw you,” I say, taking the joint out of Max’s hands.
“Wait, you don’t ha-” his words are cut off when I put the joints to my lips and suck. I start coughing a lung up. Dax and Maverick laugh at me, but they have so much light in their eyes.
It feels nice to be accepted. To be treated like I really am one of them. Even if I didn’t hit this joint, they may joke, but they’ve never tried to force it onto me and maybe that’s why I’m okay with taking a hit.
This one hit though? It might knock me on my ass.
For good measure, I take one more.
“Yeah, he’s gonna be fucked,” Dax jests. They all laugh and so do I. For the first time in awhile, I'm being laughed with and not at.
It's Saturday morning, the breeze in the air is still cool. Today is going to be a hot one and a day at the amusement parks sounds nauseating, but I'm going just to be able to see Max.
Getting into the backseat of Maverick's car with Max, he looks right at me. “I don't understand why we couldn't take the bike.”
“I can't do the bike and rollercoasters. You get one or the other and I figured it wouldn't be the bike.”
“Touché. Why do you get motion sickness so much?”
“It's been like that since I was a kid,” I say. “I've gotten used to the bike though.” Max smiles wide, no teeth as always, turning his head to the side to look at me.
“Graduation is coming up pretty quick,” he says.
“Yeah. Two months,” I confirm.
“You gonna go right for a job?”
“Probably not. I’ll take the summer off,” I look at him.
“You going to stay here or go home to Maine?”
I chose to come to Sunrise University because I wanted to get away from the Maine winters for a few years with every intention of going back home when I was done. But now the thought of leaving him behind makes me sick.
“I’m not sure anymore.”
“What changed your mind?” Max asks. I see Maverick look into the rearview mirror, making eye contact with me, eyebrows raised.
“Yes, Clayton. What changed your mind?” Maverick parrots.
“Nothing in particular,” I lied. Maverick smirks. Max doesn’t say anything.
The car ride falls into a comfortable silence. All of us staring out the window as we watch the world pass by in colors.
In the silence, my mind wanders. What am I going to do when we graduate? Stay here to be around Max? Follow him to wherever he plans to go?
I’m better off going back to Maine, even if my heart wants to stay.
My plans are to be an ER nurse back home. That has always been the plan. My heart can’t afford to stay here pining after someone who is never going to love me.
