He ended up looking at the wall, the ceiling, because he couldn’t look at her. “I am saying that I am too weak to do it,” he said hoarsely. “I have never felt anything for a woman in my life, at least not like this, and it is the most helpless feeling in the world knowing I can never have you. I feel as if I have been gutted, as if everything in my body is splayed out over the ground and I am hollow. I am hollow because I will never be able to openly love you. Hollow because when you go, you take a piece of me with you. Hollow because I am too weak to handyou over to Ellesmere and watch him marry you, knowing he will be touching you the way only I should be touching you. When the escort leaves for The Paladin tomorrow, I will remain behind with the wounded. Bric will be your shadow, as I have been. He is a good man, Cadie. Please do not let your anger or hurt with me, and with the situation, reflect on him.”
Cadelyn’s tears were spilling over as she stood up from the bed, despondent. “Is there no other way?”
Kress shook his head, hearing in her voice that she was crying even though he couldn’t look at her. “Nay,” he said raggedly. “I assure you, if there was, I would take it.”
She sniffled, wiping at her eyes with her hands. “You will not be viewed poorly by The Marshal for not having personally delivered me to Ellesmere?”
He did look at her, then. “Nay,” he said. “I did my duty. I brought you to Chester. But why would you ask that?”
Her lower lip was trembling as she took a few steps towards him. “Because as much as I want to ask you to run away with me, I will not,” she said, tears coursing down her face faster than she could wipe them away. “You asked me once what I wanted from you– do you know what I wanted? I wanted you to leave everything you have worked for and go away with me, just the two of us. That was what I wanted because I was selfish. But for the first time in my life, I understand what it is to think of someone else before myself and I realize that I could not allow you to shame yourself so. What do I want from you? I want to know that you will find happiness again someday. And I want you to think of me from time to time, fondly, and remember a woman who loved you a great deal. That isallI want.”
Her words cut into him like a dagger. He couldn’t even look at her and not feel like weeping himself. Reaching out, he gently cupped her face, a tender gesture. Cadelyn put her hand on his, turning her head so she could kiss his palm. She did, a fewtimes, before pulling away and returning to the bed. She was so distraught that she collapsed on it, sobbing softly.
“Take Goliath with you when you go,” she wept. “I think you need him more than I do.”
“Nay,” Kress said hoarsely. “He stays with you. I will be greatly comforted knowing that you have him for protection. Please… keep him.”
“Then he shall forever remind me of you.”
Kress’ eyes were stinging with tears as he watched her shoulders heave gently. Knowing there was nothing more to say and that they were dragging out the inevitable, he came up behind her, bent over, and kissed her on the top of the head.
“I love you,” he whispered, inhaling the scent of her hair to keep tucked into his memory. “You will be a fine and strong countess, my lady. Make me proud.”
With that, he turned on his heel and quit the chamber. The last sound he heard was of Cadelyn’s weeping, a sound that would scar him for eternity.
*
The Paladin
“I am here,”Fabius said as he entered the chamber and shut the door. “What is so important?”
He’d walked into a room on the lower level of The Paladin, one that was mostly used by the servants. They would mend things here, or prepare things, or any number of odd chores. There were items stored in it as well, with bushels of carrots and dried beans shoved into a corner. It smelled like must and earth, a dark and dingy room. But on this day, it also had something else– Atilius and Nesta.
They were lingering together over by one of the slender lancet windows that dotted the lower level of The Paladin, windows used for both ventilation and defense. Fabius made his way over to them, a look of intense curiosity on his face.
“What is it?” he demanded, looking between them. “What has happened?”
Atilius held up a neatly folded piece of parchment with a wax seal on it. The seal had been broken.
“Cadelyn has arrived,” he said. “This missive just came from her escort, meant for Tatius, but I happened to be in the gatehouse when it arrived.”
Fabius’ eyes widened as he took the missive from his brother to look at the careful writing on it. “Where is she?” he said, slowly reading the first few words because he was a poor reader. “Does it say?”
Atilius nodded. “She is in Longton,” he said. “It does not say where they have stopped, but there is only one real tavern of note there, The Crown and Anchor Inn, so I will assume the party stopped there.”
Fabius was still reading the missive, word-by-word. “And they are bringing her to The Paladin?”
Atilius shrugged. “I would assume so,” he said. “But they did not say when, which is why I have summoned Nesta. She believes we should go to Cadelyn and escort her to The Paladin and then on to Mountain Dark.”
Fabius glanced up from the missive to see the blonde-haired woman nodding. “She is a princess of two kingdoms,” she said. “She deserves an escort of her own people, welcoming her back to Wales.”
Fabius returned his focus to the yellowed parchment. “Then we are going to greet her?” he said. “What does Tatius say?”
“Tatius does not know,” Atilius said. “I have not told him. You know how ambivalent he is to all of this. We shall go andmeet the lady and bring her back here. Then we shall escort her and Tatius to Mountain Dark, where they shall be married.”
“My people are already there, waiting,” Nesta said. “This is a great moment. To finally have my daughter back where she belongs shall be a great inspiration for them. We have been anticipating this moment for quite some time and there must not be any delays or interference. We already have loyal men in Conwy, the first large city we intend to take, and all they require is the sight of my daughter to rally them to the cause. From Conwy, we shall move on Bangor and control access to Anglesey. In reward for your assistance, I shall cede all of Anglesey to the House of de Shera.”
Atilius had a smile on his lips. “Worthy lands,” he said. “We shall help you hold Conwy, but we will need more men to take Bangor. It is a large town.”
