Paige has her mouth covered, trying to muffle her laughter.
I bend my arm and say, “Argh.” And then hit the button even though I’m still laughing. “You’re on The Love Line.”
“My husband retired last month, and he has reorganized my kitchen twice and he follows me from room to room narrating his whole day. I love this man. I do. I really, really do. But I need him to find a hobby before one of us doesn’t survive it.”
“I’m not sure a hobby is what he needs unless it takes him out of the house all day long,” I tell her. “Give him a mission. Something with a deadline and a result he can be proud of when he’s done. You need to direct him to a project that doesn’t involve you.”
“ . . .That’s actually good.”
“Try not to sound so surprised,” I say as I hang up. It’s like these people don’t understand I needed a project or my wife was going to boot me out of the house. They’re talking to my project.
Paige is very animated tonight, and I imagine her mom is blowing up her phone with little quips about my advice. It’sokay. I know all the women in my life are in a group chat, and I’m not invited. Hurts my feelings a bit, not gonna lie.
“You’re on The Love Line.”
“Hi, my wife and I made a deal before we married. No kids. Fifteen years in, she’s changed her mind. She wants them, bad.”
“Here’s the thing, people change. We’re allowed to change. It’s growth and it doesn’t always match how our partner’s feeling. People also stay the same and never grow or change. Neither of you is wrong, and that’s the part that hurts.”
“So what do I do?”
“You try to understand. Ask her why now? If the answer is something you can live with, you do what you need to do.”
“And if I can’t live with the answer?”
“Then you let her go so she can become the mother she wants to be. It’ll be hard to accept but you don’t want to bring a child into this world if you don’t want them. They’ll know it. You’ll know it.”
Every line’s lit. The show’s the best it’s been in weeks.
“You’re on The Love Line.”
“My ex is back. We were engaged, he destroyed us, and now he’s two years sober and says he’s a different man and wants another shot.”
“People can change. You’re talking to someone who is proof. I was selfish and I was scared and I ran off from the best thing I ever had.” That’s as far as I take it. “Here’s what you need to ask. Is he proving it, or just saying it? Sober’s real work, so give him that much. But pay attention to his actions. And the first time he reaches for the old version of the man he used to be, you show him the door.”
“Thanks, Liam. I think I know what I need to do.”
I take the next call.
“You’re on The Love Line.”
“I want to propose, but I can’t afford the ring she deserves. Do I wait until I can?” He sounds young and very nervous.
“A ring is a promise and a token of love. I don’t even know when the practice started, but maybe you be the one that changes. Buy her what you can and then you work to get something different later. She may surprise you and fall in love with the one you slip on her finger because it’s something you picked for her.”
After that call, we take a break and play some music. I refill my coffee, use the bathroom, and tell Paige not to get any ideas about a ring.
She laughs and something tells me I’m in for it with her. I sit back down and press the button.
“You’re on The Love Line.”
“My boyfriend won’t say I love you back. It’s been a year.”
“Does he show it?”
“…He fixed my car. Twice. He walks my dog in the rain.”
“He’s saying it in a language you’re not recognizing as words. Ask him for the words too. But don’t miss the ones he’s already handing you.”
