He must have felt the heat of my eyes on him because he flipped several pieces of French toast over, then turned around and gave me his devilish grin.
"Morning, beautiful," he said. "I figured I'd make you breakfast to thank you for such a great night."
He winked and I cringed.
A great night? Is that what he was calling sleeping with me?
He crossed the small room and took my hand and kissed it, not letting it go. His eyes slowly moved up and down as he looked at me.
"You look good enough to eat, maybe I'll just start with you," he said.
He pulled me against him and his lips closed on top of mine. My legs jittered as I tried to not melt against his body. I was suddenly reminded of all the women who came before me. Being lumped in with them was the last thing I wanted.
I didn't want to be just another Gideon Kohl conquest, but I didn't know what I wanted. The only thing I was sure of was that I didn't want to think about any of this right now. I could pretend last night didn't happen and we would go back to being friends.
I pushed him away and Gideon's eyes widened. Before he could speak, I turned him around and started pushing him towards the door.
"No, this isn't happening," I said. "You need to go."
"What? But--"
"No, Gideon, this isn't right. It's morning now and we're back to being just friends, remember? That's how it should be."
My nose scrunched as I pushed him towards the door. I was happy to be behind him where he couldn't see it. I noticed his shirt and suit jacket hanging over the couch and handed them to him.
"But--" he said.
"No, I'm not going to be just another notch. Remember, I'm your best friend, I know you. Just get out, go home, go on with your day like last night didn't happen at all. I'll see you at work on Monday."
He spun around and grabbed me by my shoulders. I could tell he had a lot to say, but I didn't want to hear it. I shouldn't have said yes, let's have sex. I shouldn't have enjoyed it so much. I shouldn't be wishing he would kiss me so I would stop thinking so much.
It was the holidays and I was lonely. I knew Gideon. He was going to give me the usual bullshit he fed all his girlfriends.
"Becca, you don't understand. I love you," he said.
And there it was. The same crap he fed to all those other girls before. The words were like being punched in the gut. For as long as I had known him, Gideon always thought he was in love. I knew better, I knew it was just his dick talking.
"Please, leave," I said. "Before this gets any worse."
His brows knitted as he stood in my doorway. He slipped his arms into his shirt and roughly shoved his feet into his shoes, all while never taking his eyes off my face. Then he slowly nodded as he pursed his lips.
"I get it. I’m leaving it up to you, whatever you want," he said as he walked out, slamming the door shut behind him.
* * *
My phone rang an hour after Gideon left. I was still cleaning the griddle and assumed it was him calling. I felt guilty for how I pushed him out of my house and wanted to apologize.
I leaned towards my phone, expecting to see Gideon's name, but instead Sandra's name flashed on the screen. Remembering everything she was going through, I forgot about Gideon. Why was she calling so early? As thoughts of Billy breaking the door down and entering the house filled my mind, I quickly answered the phone.
"Sandra? Is everything okay?"
She laughed and I relaxed, happy to hear the lightness in her voice.
"Yes, everything's fine. I'm so sorry about last night. I can only imagine how much you must have been worried about me."
"Well, you know me, I worry about everything."
"You do! You need to loosen up more. Maybe find a boyfriend to take you out."
