“What?” I ask, desperate for her crumbs, hoping they will nurture me. She carries my heart in her palm and doesn’t even know it.
I will do anything for this woman to fall back in love with me. After all these years, her chances of remembering are slim to none.
“Different from what I thought. Better, I guess. A man I could see myself respecting. I made the right decision.”
I was the only decision she could make, but disclosing that wouldn’t end well. I can’t risk losing her when I’ve just gotten her back. After years spent in misery, her simple presence breathes life into my battered soul.
“May I have you?” I ask, my despair ringing loud. My entire body vibrates with incessant hunger, even though one taste would never satiate me.
She takes a step back and shakes her head as she hugs herself. “I want to... but... it’s simply too much, too soon.”
Giving her the space she demands, I don’t move from the spot even if I crave to wrap her in my arms and never let go. I shove my hands into my pockets to tame a need that becomes increasingly out of my control.
She frowns, surely not expecting my reaction.
I will earn her trust even if it’s founded in deception.
I will win her heart even if she doesn’t know it’s mine already.
I will seduce the body that has only ever been mine.
My impatience won’t threaten my chances of success, I repeat in my head to cement the mantra.
“Thank you,” she says, biting her lip, an incredulous expression painting her face. “I’m still expecting to wake up any moment now. I’m still hurt that you ignored me.”
If she only knew how hard that has been, but I stayed away for her mental well-being. Secrets tend to reveal themselves, andI didn’t want to give anyone the idea to dig into our lives. She has always been so near, yet out of reach.
“There’s no ignoring you now. It does things to me that you craved my attention.”
She giggles, and the sound is like balm to my bruised heart, reminding me of how easily I could make her smile. How she regaled me with a beam that lit up my entire world.
She could never stay mad at me because of that. It was like an unwritten rule.
“And so modest.”
I chuckle. “Modesty is overrated.”
She pins me with a pointed look. “You’re trying too hard to sell me this version of an easygoing, straight-laced man.”
She’s too damn smart, but my charm always worked on her.
I hike a shoulder, pretending nonchalance. “Don’t we all show a facade to the world? We’re married now. Maybe it’s not a facade with you.”
She approaches me and places her palms on my chest, causing my heart to pulse a wild rhythm. “There’s something… I don’t know what it is, and it’s driving me mad. Like I know you. Like you know me.”
My pulse spikes to the point that I could lose my footing at any moment. Her touch electrifies me, does things to me I can’t even begin to describe—every nerve ending in my body attuned to her, responding to its counterpart.
She shakes her head. “Ignore me. I’m talking nonsense.”
I grip her chin and tip her face up to stare into her eyes so there’s no doubt in her head. “I would die for you, Zara. I chose you to spend the rest of my life with. That paper might have legally turned you into my wife, but it goes beyond that. You’re my woman. And your troubles are my troubles. I will protect you. Keep you safe. Put you first.”
Lifting on her toes, she cups my face as if searching for the lie. She won’t find any. “Why?”
You’re not ready to hear that, but I don’t say that. Instead, I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her flush to my chest. She yelps in surprise but stays transfixed.
I have no idea how to go easy. I never had to. We felt it from the start––the connection that blew rationality to smithereens.
In my bloody life, she was my peace.
