The woman patted Jannie’s arm. “Well … I’ll leave you to it.”
She disappeared below deck, and Jannie took the letter out of her backpack to read it one last time.
Hello, up there. This is your mother.
It took me a while to call myself that, maybe because part of me felt undeserving and guilty for not being able to carry you to term and bring you into this world.
For a few miraculous months, you were mine and always there—my sweet secret, my son and daughter, my first children. To say I was excited about the two of you would be an understatement.We were going to be a family, just the three of us. No matter what life threw our way, we would face it and figure it out together.
But your destiny was different. You couldn’t stay, and I was left with empty arms, broken dreams, and some clothes I bought during those incredible months of carrying you in my body.
Losing you was the most painful experience of my life. I remember lying in the hospital, bleeding, crying, and feeling like my world had ended. I remember looking to the sky, telling you that I was sorry—sorry that my body failed you, sorry that I couldn’t do anything to stop you from leaving. You both went, holding hands, hopefully to a better place.
I can’t express how much I loved you. I never got the chance to meet you or hold you in my arms, but I will forever hold you in my heart.
You were my joyful surprise, the only light in my life back then, and your brilliance will shine forever.
I love you, my sweet babies.
Your mother,
Jannie
Two tears fell on the paper, and Jannie swiped at her cheeks and licked her lips, tasting salt.
Squaring her shoulders, she tightly rolled up the letter and grabbed the empty Dr Pepper bottle from her backpack. When she had searched for a bottle to use, this one seemed like the perfect choice—a little pieceof her, one of her favorite things.
And it reminded her of Nick, how he had hauled a few cases of it all the way to Vegas, just to make her happy.
She plugged the bottle with a cork, twisting to push it all the way in. She wished Nick were here with her. This would be so much easier.
She glanced at her watch—7:30 a.m. in Singapore. OK to call, she decided.
Hesitating for only a moment, she pulled the phone out of her backpack.
It rang just once before he accepted the FaceTime call. “Good morning, beautiful girl.”
Her throat closed. He looked so handsome, albeit more tired than the last time she had spoken to him. There were now shadows under his eyes, and she swore he had lost weight, too.
She flipped the phone screen to show him where she was.
“Doesn’t look like your pool,” he observed.
She turned the phone around again. “Yeah, it’s a little bigger.”
“Where are you?”
“Cocoa Beach.”
“This late?”
She lifted the bottle to show him.
“Oh.” Nick was silent for a beat. “Are you OK?”
“I’m fine.”
He smiled. “Of course you are.”
