My hands are still shaking as I reach for him, carefully sliding them over his clenched fists, as if I’m handling something fragile instead of the most stubborn person I know.
“Please don't make me choose. I can't lose anyone else, Riv. Not you. Not him.” My fingers tighten slightly over his at the thought. “He wouldn't survive if you hated him.”
It's the truth.
Family means everything to Elijah.
I let out a breath I didn't realise I was holding when he doesn't pull away.
Relief settles over me, even if everything else is still a mess.
There's too much in his expression—anger, hurt, confusion—all tangled together. Normally, I can read him without trying. I always could. Growing up, we never really fought; we just pushed each other's buttons for fun. Same stubborn streak. When it got too far and I became fed up, I’d tackle him like I've just done until he had no choice but to listen.
Some habits stick.
“It's… weird,” he mutters finally.
I nod stiffly, swiping at my nose with the back of my sleeve.
“I know.”
“I don't like it.”
“Understandable.”
“You lied to me.” he sounds more defeated than anything.
“I’ll never lie to you again,” I promise.
He twists his lips. “I don't want to lose you either,” he admits, a little rough around the edges. He exhales, dragging a hand through his wet hair. “And… I guess—hypothetically speaking—if I looked at it from someone else's point of view, well, you both deserve to be happy. I guess.”
I’ll take it.
Then he points at me. “Don’t think I’m not still pissed because I am. You still kept it from me for God knows how long, and I do not want to see all that lovey-dovey shit until I've adjusted. Like I said… It's weird.”
A shiver slips down my spine, the cold wind cutting straight through me as I notice the fight he has with himself.
“I won't make you choose.”
A knot in my chest loosens hearing those words, and an understanding passes between us both. It's not forgiveness. Not fully.
I know we will get there in time.
“Can I hug you?” I ask, a faint smile tugging despite everything. “I’m freezing and—”
The air leaves my lungs as he hauls me into him without warning. My arms get trapped between us for a second before I manage to wriggle them free and wrap them around him properly as he holds me tightly.
For a heartbeat, I stay still.
We matter to him, too. This wasn't just anger; it was hurt. We blindsided him, kept something huge from him, and he had to find out from someone else. If he needs time to come to terms with it, he gets it.
I’m just not going to hide my relationship with Elijah anymore.
And knowing I’m not going to lose River has me gripping him harder, pressing into something achingly familiar. The boy who's always been there, my only friend growing up besides my dad.
“You and me against the world.”
“You and me against the world,” I repeat.
